The scenario behind the email goes something like this: I am looking to hire someone to work with me on a long-term growing project that will be one of my priorities this year and going forward. I have spoken with a number of professionals in this area over the past few months. Without exception, each one has dropped the ball before we could even get to the part where I sign on the dotted line and pay them for their services. This morning’s email came from someone who twice failed to follow-up and now, according to the story, has too many new clients to pursue this project with me.
Despite being told by several others that such behavior is actually and unfortunately par for the course in this field, I naturally began to think things like:
Maybe no one wants to work on this project. Maybe they want higher-paying clients and easier projects. Maybe they don’t see the possibilities I see. Maybe there is no possibility. Maybe I suck at presenting the possibilities. Maybe I suck, period. Maybe this project sucks. Maybe I should shelf it. Maybe it shouldn’t be a top priority of 2012.
Maybe this is a sign of everything that sucks about this project and, well, me, and everything I have ever done and anything I may ever do in the future.
Maybe, maybe, maybe….
And just maybe, because I am so good at making movies in my head, this is a test. Or a lesson. Or both.
Maybe the right person to do this job has not yet come along. (Well, that’s pretty obvious.)
Maybe I need to do a better job of showing my excitement when presenting something with so much potential to a second person who knows nothing about it.
Maybe I need to stop allowing unprofessional people to string me along like that.
Maybe not everything that I think needs to happen at a certain time and in a certain way will in fact happen at that certain time and in that certain way. That doesn’t mean that it won’t or that it shouldn’t happen at all.
Maybe I need to not check email first thing in the morning and wait, as I know is best for me, until I am sitting down at my desk in my office.
Maybe I am trying to force and control and make things happen instead of allowing them to happen. I pushed to find the person who could work with me on this, despite being presented with the wrong one over and over. “This one is different,” I told myself, even when this one wasn’t different.
And maybe, just maybe, when life sticks its tongue out at me, I don’t have to stick mine out back in response, nor do I have to cower in the corner and lick my wounds. I have another option and it is time that I make that one my go-to: I can let it go before it becomes anything more and I can carry on with my important business.
So for right now in this moment, I am going to say “thank you,” for these lessons. For not getting stuck working with the wrong person. And also for the inspiration to write this post and publicly declare all of this.
More importantly, I am going to back the fuck off. From having to have things my way. From trying to orchestrate everything myself. From crowding out other options and other ways.
I will make room for something better and someone better, all in their right time.
Where are you crowding out possibilities by insisting something has to be one way or no way? Has life stuck its tongue out at you or has your way worked?
* * *