Waiting

Allison Nazarian Inspiration, Life Lessons

You may have noticed I have been writing a lot lately. A LOT. Some of you have said as much to me in texts, emails, DMs and on Facebook. (Thank you, it is nice to know you are reading. You, too, stalkers and lurkers.)

I’d like to be able to tell you about my great new until-now-secret system that supplies me with a kind muse, endless inspiration and the right words. But I don’t have a system. I’d share with you an intricate new schedule I came up with. But, well, I still write best and really only in the morning hours. I haven’t yet invented a writing machine. No can do late-night writing…mad props to those of you who can do it. I’d like to tell you about my magical desk. After 12 years, I did just get a new one (and moved across the hall to a new office space, more on that another time soon), but that isn’t it, either. 

No, the reality is there is no magic super-secret formula going on here.

My writing avalanche output of late is the result of two incredibly ordinary things.

Two decidedly non-magic-pills: Decision + Action.

Period.

I made a decision. I would no longer wait around for an agent or a publishing house or a massive platform or a five-figure speaking gig or a certain amount of dollars in my bank account to write what I was put on this planet in this lifetime to write. I would write it now. Every single day. And not only in the private scrawl of a journal, but here for anyone (or no one, or everyone) to see. I decided to let the results will take care of themselves. I let go trying to control outcomes (um, yea, talk about futile) and am focusing on doing what I need to do.

And you know what? Nearly every day since I made that radical decision, someone has told me that I wrote exactly what they needed to hear on that day. That I must be living inside their head because my public words were identical to the private internal discussion they’d been having all day long (and probably for days before that). That I had inspired them to look at something differently or try a new path. 

That is my sign. My reward.

I took action: Some days I feel a lot of resistance. My ego telling me to skip a day or to not make the writing public or to not share so much of myself or that people who don’t like me or what I have to say could use my thoughts and feelings against me. I acknowledge that resistance and respect it. (I also, you should know, say fuck it and fuck those people.) I know it will never, ever go away. I also know that it seems to get louder the more threatened it feels – so I see it for what it is and recognize that it is a good sign that it is “acting up” more than usual.

When I doubt and when I question whether today is a day I shall continue taking action, I refer back to the first part of this simple two-part equation. To my decision. That’s all I need to remember. I need to act on that decision, and continue acting on it daily. I will be patient as I know that the rest will take care of itself, but I will no longer sit around and wait for further instructions.

So armed with the strength of my new Decision + Action approach, here is what I feel strongly you may very well likely need to hear today:

Waiting is not your answer. Biding your time is not a means to an end. The “thing” you wait for doesn’t want to come while you are waiting around for it. The thing you wait for is actually waiting on you. To be radical. To know. To believe. To do. It is waiting on you to be radical in both your decision and the resulting actions. It is waiting on you — AS AM I — to show us what you got.

Now.

 

 

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