writing

Thinking About Not Writing

Allison Nazarian Bittersweet, Healing, Writing Real Life 6 Comments

I started this “little writing experiment” back in November.

I’ve written and posted to this blog every single weekday since then. No matter what.Over 50,000 words, as a matter of fact.

And my life has changed since I started. A lot. All for the better. (I talk about it a little here and started the experiment a few weeks before this.)

I’ve detached from some long-standing and painful entanglements. I’ve moved on from things I cannot change (and on which I’d spent tons of time and emotional energy trying to do just that). I have brought in experts and professionals to help and lead me in areas that need to be resolved and that cannot be resolved by me alone. In my business, I have connected with amazing new clients on equally amazing new projects. I am starting some new significant ghostwriting work. I am working on my own book proposal for a book I have been putting off for 15 years. My love life is amazing. I am happier, calmer, more at peace.

These things take commitment. Time. Faith in that which I cannot see or touch….yet. They sometimes also take money. Strength when I question whether I am on the right track. Trust when there aren’t a ton of signs that this is indeed the right path.  I have learned that I have to stick with something in order for it to actually work. It isn’t always easy, especially on tough days. And I have had plenty of those. Most of us have.

Would these things have happened had I not been writing to this blog every day? Maybe.

What does any of this have to do with writing? 

Well, I am considering changing things up. The every-day writing is a non-negotiable. My soul needs this. Period. But I don’t know that I have to post to this blog every day. Because then it becomes about a lot of additional, mostly external things. The soul part may be getting lost. I wonder if the posting is for me or for my ego? And once I go down that slippery slope of looking to the outside for validation, attention or feedback – -well, then, the whole point of my experiment is lost.

The thing is, I know that if you are reading this, you love me and you love what I write. I know, I live in your head and write about it here 🙂 I just may write about it here less. This blog should not be about measuring or gauging what people think about me. I know that is not the norm in the blog world – most people are glued to their stats, traffic, etc. But that isn’t me. And that is a waste of time and energy for me. It makes me dislike the process, and focus on what is in actuality not important to me at all.

I wanted to see if I could do it. And I did it. And the results have been far more incredible than I could have imagined.

So, there you have it. I won’t/can’t ever stop writing. But I may write less here. I am returning to my own internal commitment to “think less, write more” and to “do more, say less.” And by “less,” I mean not here in this space every single day.

That is all.