You Care What They Think

Allison Nazarian Life Lessons, Real Life, Unsolicited Advice from Allison

You say you don’t, but you do.

We all do.

We call them different names, but we are talking about the same thing, the same collective, the same people:

“They.”

“Them.”

“Everyone.”

Or, could be something like:

“The neighbors”

“The people from high school.”

“My parents’ friends.”

“My clients”

“My husband”

“My wife”

“The cashier at Publix.”

“People.”

You care what they think. About you.

So much so that lots of what you do and say is based on what they will think about what you do and say.

The stories you’ve come up with, the movies you’ve made in your head – they are all about what “they” think.

Will they like you?

Will they like what you did?

Will they agree with what you said?

Will they believe you?

Will they think your butt looks OK?

Will they think you are too smart?

Will they think you are not too smart?

Will they think your hair is too blonde? Not blonde enough?

Will they think your nose is big?

Will they like your car/house/job/jeans/purse/jokes/onion dip/teeth/new perfume?

You care a lot about them. Yes, you do.

All the while, the reality, irony, the funny-if-you-really-think-about-it part is this: “They” don’t much care about you, your nose, your butt, your IQ, your….well, anything.

“They” are so freakin’ busy worrying and ruminating themselves about the other “theys” that “they” are not thinking about you and all your stuff one little bit.

Ok, maybe one little bit….like a 95/5 ratio little bit.

So for that little 5 slice, way too many of us are agonizing, stressing and basically devoting our lives, our thoughts, our actions and our decisions to “them.”

Um…that doesn’t make much sense to me.

And when you actually think about it that way, I bet it doesn’t make much sense to you either. (And don’t get me started on why you/we care in the first place: Childhood, your parents, your Ex, that first girlfriend/boyfriend, the teacher who was too critical, the comment that stranger made that one time…and the list goes on.)

What if “they” didn’t matter?

What if you did, thought and said everything you wanted and needed without worrying what “they” would think/do/say in return but, instead, with the assumption that:

1) You are doing/thinking/saying the best and right thing always.

2) They will love you (or not) based not on what you are doing/thinking/saying but on other things, some of which have nothing – NOTHING! – to do with you, and

3) They are likely more uncertain, anxious, stressed and questioning than you are  and, as such, you are but a blip on their screen.

And, what if, armed with those new assumptions instead, you focused that raw energy of yours on doing what YOU like?

What YOU approve of?

What moves and inspires and supports YOU?

What if, instead of allowing these endless loop movies to run in your head day and night, you put all of that power and creativity and movement to a use that would create progress and action?

What if you trusted your gut to do all of the deciding for you? So instead of “them” ruling you, YOU ruled you?

What if you developed an attitude of “I know best?”

What if you did all of that right now?

Yes, you.

Yes, now.

Carry on.