We never really know what tomorrow brings. Not for us, not for those we love, not for the countries we live in or the planet we live on, not really for anything. We can organize, plant seeds, make lists and visualize all we want, but, ultimately, life is incredibly uncertain.
Yet we push for certainty. We demand it. We lament its absence. And what I am learning is that one of the “sercets” to living a life of peace and happiness (which I am pretty sure are a duo that can’t be broken up) is to stop pushing. To stop pushing ourselves and others to somehow surmount or even avoid that certainty. To stop pushing against that which is unmovable. To stop the draining and unproductive exertion. To move away from the need to control and embrace the ability to detach and let go.
We cannot be in the flow if we are in constant pushing mode. And in the flow is where the magic in our lives happens.
This might be the part in which I tell you how I deftly deal with uncertainty in my life. Maybe give you a tip or tidbit or two about managing the question marks. But you know what? I am not so sure myself.
I know faith is important, as is trust. Both in ourselves, in others, in God or the Divine or the Universe of whatever higher power you believe (or don’t believe) in. In things working out for the best and in the idea that everything is always and already as it should be.
The norm is not, in fact, certainty or control. It is not knowing everything, it is not orchestrating everyone, it is not overpowering the question marks.
The default we should be trusting in is uncertainty.
But you know what? Having that kind of trust — the kind that is sustainable and stronger than we alone are — is hard as hell. I don’t care who you are or what someone else tells you about their unwavering faith — It. Is. Hard. Especially when you think you got it all down and then something (or someone) comes along and knocks you right back down to size. Or your Mean Voice starts acting up. Or nothing seems to go “according to plan.” Or everything goes to shit in an instant.
I think some people are just naturally and innately better equipped to deal with uncertainty than are others. I know many of them. I admire their attitude and approach to those things that are by definition unknowable and unpredictable. I am not one of those people. I would like to be one of those people. I do not know if I will ever be one of those people.
So, for today, and tomorrow’s today and the next today, I will do my best to continue flexing my “OK with Uncertainty” muscle. Whatever will be, will be, right?
And…how do you deal with life’s question marks?