Look At Me, Look At Me!

Allison Nazarian There, I Said It, Truth

When you are having a bad day/time/thing, do you try to ride it through or do you try to do something to change it?

Do you acknowledge it and then allow yourself to feel it and stay in it or do you do what you can to turn things around?

Do you turn to the Facebooks of the world and tell yourself that by sharing it with all of your friends in that way that you are dealing with it?

I go on Facebook and I see a lof of these two kinds of people: 1) Those whose kids are perfect, whose spouses are Prince/ss Charming, who work out daily and chirpily share all of the healthy food they eat, all of the super-cute Pinterest pictures they pin and the positive affirmations they live by. 2) Those who are always in the thick of a problem, an issue, a breakdown, a complaint, a debate, a big drama. Nothing is ever right, and most everything is always wrong.

They all want you to know all about it, care all about it and, if you have nothing better to do, get all involved in it, too.

Most of us are in the middle of the 1s and 2s, but they are the ones who make all the noise. I must admit, I hide both kinds. Some people are good at ignoring others’ emotions. I am not. So I do my best to keep it away from me: I don’t buy the fake stories (#1) and I’m not up for wallowing in someone else’s never-ending pity party (#2) . Neither approach is realistic or sustainable. And both are ways of trying to bring more attention to themselves. Why not go and live your life — either enjoying its perfection (for people in #1) or fixing what’s wrong (for people in #2)? Trying to get more attention from your online friends isn’t going to make the good better or the bad better.

It’s a slippery slope that keeps you coming back for more, whether you are the broadcaster or the audience.

Are people so desperate for attention that they have stopped living, acknowledging and being part of real life? (I think some are, yes. And we all know these people.) Are people so out of touch with reality that they need to pretend everything is perfect OR feel there is no other way to live than to be wallowing in self-pity (and constantly inviting you to their pity party)? Again, yes.

I think Facebook et al give people a place to waste a lot of time and broadcast a lot of emotions that would perhaps be better off channeled into something more positive and/or realistic. I mean, how long can you talk about what’s wrong? Whether it is politics, religion or your own private life, at what point do you tell someone, “Well, go do something about it.?” And if you do have the guts to ask someone that question, are you a bad person for doing so?

I have no conclusion here, except to say that all any of us can do is focus on what inspires, moves and nourishes us.

And remember that you are not a bad person if you have no patience for other people’s bullshit.