Anything. Something. The opposite of nothing.
So I fiddled around (fiddle is a technical term):
I ordered some trilogy of books for my kid (he told me: “Mom, you won’t believe this but I may actually like to read now.” Me: “Great, glad it took almost 13 years.”).
Checked Facebook. Checked twitter.
Tweeted about the dead armadillo and procreating crickets.
Went back to Facebook to check who has recently “liked” my new fan page (shameless plug!).
Emptied some emails from my inbox.
Approved the cover for my Love Your Mess™ book (yay!!).
Confirmed what will be the first of many “Monthly Mess” interviews, to be recorded this week (more on that later).
Texted about simplicity, spaghetti, picnics, dreams and September with my bff Elizabeth.
Then had to check twitter again.
Then Facebook again.
Then fan page again.
Sipped my tea.
Perused my “To Do List” for today and then just could not stand it anymore.
Because the first item, there on the list and also indelibly burned on my mind, was, simply, “Write.”
And I was doing whatever I could to NOT Write.
So here I am at 9:08am and wondering where my inspiration is.
And really wondering if the idea of inspiration is just a load of B.S.
And coming to a conclusion that yes, yes it is. Or at least yes, yes it is for me.
Because inspiration is everywhere (and nowhere).
It is wherever I want or need it to be.
It is in emails from Peggie Arvidson, a friend, kindred spirit and gifted palm reader.
It is in texts about everything, nothing, profound and less profound with my best friend.
It is in the beautiful pictures my honey snapped this morning in the backyard with his new camera.
It is in seeing dear friends (you know who you are) examine the depths of the truth in their lives, even when it’s tough or easier to resist or ignore.
It is in my Words With Friends games with people like Jilly and Dori and Shelly and David.
It is in the crazy dream I had about hanging out with my kids and Kim and Kourtney Kardashian (I kid you not).
In the daily emails from the PTA about a cookie dough fundraiser (OK, I take that back. There is NO inspiration in those emails.)
It is in the small smidgen of ideas out of the bazillions of ideas I have that are actually coming to fruition.
Or in the way the sky looks different but equally amazing every single morning here in my little corner of the world.
It is in the fact that it is now September which means, among other things, that I will see some of my favorite live-too-far-away people in the world this very month. And which also means that football season is around the corner.
It is in the smoothie I made this morning.
It is in my green tea.
And in the orange walls of my office.
And my new Zen Room.
Yes, inspiration is everywhere.
And what I am reminded of yet again is this: Inspiration does not need to come from a bolt of lightning or some combination of rainbows, flashing lights and bells. And wherever it is (or isn’t), I don’t even need it to write. It may just be an excuse. Resistance. My ego. Lack of focus. Fear.
So is lack of inspiration (or “writer’s block” or any block for that matter) really about fear?
Yea, pretty much.
Because it isn’t about love, and that’s the only other choice here. Fear or love. A or B. There is no C.
Love comes in when you put pen to paper (or finger or keyboard, or brush to canvas or whatever your “I have to do this every day or my soul will die” thing is) despite and maybe a little even because of that fear.
When, inspiration or no inspiration, you just do whatcha gotta do and keep moving forward. When you get out of your head and into action.When you stop with the “What Ifs” and move on to the “This Is” and “These Are.”
Then, funny thing (not funny “ha ha” but funny “oh, the irony”), you stop thinking and make room for….
You guessed it…
You are already inspired. Now go find it, use it and be it.
Can’t wait to see what you come up with!