(There were issues with this post/link when I first shared it last week, so here it is again. If you read it already, nothing new here. If you never saw it, lots of newness and wonderfullness here :))
I’m just coming off my son’s Bar Mitzvah weekend, a big stew of family, friends, smiles, tears and pride.
I spent lots of time “IRL” (in real life) and “f2f” (face-to-face) in the “real world” with family, friends and my own thoughts and memories.
It was a wonderful and emotional and surreal and hectic few days. I was able to get out of my head enough to see the reality of lots of things in and around my life.
It was also an amazing reminder that no matter how hard we are on ourselves or how many little details we may miss (or worry that we may miss and never actually miss, as in my case) or weird little things we have between us and our loved ones, our family, friends, etc – there is always, always lots of love and, well, that trumps all.
I allowed myself to pat myself on the back, even if only briefly:
I am doing a fucking phenomenal job as a parent.
I am doing a great job co-parenting with a guy I am no longer married to but who will always be my kids’ dad.
I apparently throw a pretty good party.
I am pretty good at not doing things the way everyone else does just because that’s what everyone else does.
I give good speech. (Of course I do, that is all I do – I write. I don’t write good speeches and also know how to sew buttons or change flat tires. I just write. )
And, apparently, I am best off (according to those who know and love me) as a blonde. I am currently not a blonde. Whatevs :).
After a whirlwind weekend, I spent all of Monday staring into space, eating amazing Italian leftovers and wearing ladybug slippers. I wasn’t ready to return to reality and I was ok spending the day being still and basking in the glow of what went down over the past few days.
So what does this have to do with YOU?!
As we move from mid-December into a whirlwind holiday time and end to the year (and heaven knows I am no expert or guru on how to treat yourself better), maybe think about taking some time to just BE.
To have those people-filled, noisy, fun times and then allow yourself to deflate and reflect. Don’t be afraid of your alone self. Love that alone self. Lots.
Because you know what? That is the only person guaranteed 100% to be with you and in your life and part of you forever. The. Only. Person.
And that is the only person responsible for your happiness.
And the only one who knows what you really want and need and dream about and yearn for.
That is the only person who can make sure that the things that make your heart sing and your soul stir are within your reach.
So find that person and love them as much as you love everyone else in your life — and then even more — over the next few weeks.
Think less about the “lose weight” or “stop smoking” or “take more vitamins” resolutions you’re formulating for 2011. Think more about who you are below and beyond all of that.
Think more, instead of what you need to do more/less of or what you need to be better at, about how great and amazing you already are.
Think of all that you already create and accomplish in one day (let alone a week or a month or a year).
Think of how many people love and adore and think the world of you just as you are.
Yes, I want you to be healthy and at an optimal weight and be fully vitamin-ed. But more than that, I want you to be happy with what you are and where you are and who you are right now in this moment.
I want you to be so happy with all of that that you seek out time with your favorite person (you!) and not avoid that person or think of all the ways (s)he can be better, cooler, thinner or richer.
You and your mess are pretty loveable right now as you are. You’re doing a fantastic job and I love you.