Happiness Is A DIY Job

Allison Nazarian Allison Nazarian, Inspiration, The Life of Allison, Unsolicited Advice from Allison

“Never depend on others to make you happy.
You can do it yourself.”

So today is Christmas. Wishing those of you who celebrate it (and actually all of you) a day of peace and joy. And hoping this peace and joy carry through every day of your life, Christmas or not. That goes for everyone.

People of my religion generally go to the movies and eat Chinese food on Christmas Day. Mostly because Chinese restaurants and movie theaters are open on this day when most other venues are closed. And we need some distraction from the fact that we don’t have a gorgeous tree with presents stuffed every-which-way underneath and waiting for us in the morning.

So…I have thus far spent the day in pajamas, and alone, and kind of to-do-list-less — have been blissfully happy since I woke up this morning.

I thought about writing a blog post with a great message for today or this upcoming new year, but I have vowed to never write on this blog just for writing’s sake (see how much I am looking out for you?!). And quite frankly, I have had some concern about what I could possibly write to top my last blog post.

So as I sat down to eat my Chinese take-out lunch, I started to think about where I’ve been and where I’m going. (I think a lot.) I was also on the phone with my friend Jeff at the time. Think and talk, that’s what I do.

I started to open my fortune cookie and remember saying the small silent prayer I always say when opening a fortune cookie, imploring the Universe: “Please give me a message in this cookie. Please say something to me. Please tell me what I need to know right now.” (Is that weird?)

And this time it must’ve worked. Because I got a kick-a** message I needed to hear right now:

“Never depend on others to make you happy.
You can do it yourself.”

Thank you Universe! That was exactly what I needed today.

So many of us look outward, to something else, or someone else, or another place, or different circumstances to make us happy.

Guess what? There are no answers outside of you. None.

Read that again, it’s actually kind of scary. (Friggin scary.) And profound too. Because accepting that statement means there can be no more excuses. No more stories. No more BS.

It means you can call off the big Search For Answers. The one that you have determined MUST come before you actually decide what to do. Before you actually take action.

The one that has you believe in some great person (or people) who tell you they have the answers you seek. That they “get” you far better than you get yourself.

Believing that statement means you need to stop believing that someone, somewhere, somehow will be the one to — finally!! — bring you the happiness you so deserve.

Expecting someone or something else to make us happy or be the source of our happiness is tiring. And utterly unproductive. Yet, we’ve all been “guilty” of it. (Some more than others.) Of wanting this time to be different. Of hoping to buck the system. The very system that always, always, always leads back to only one place…YOU.

So for this new year, and actually starting right now in this very moment, I am going to take a more active role in reminding myself who’s in charge here. Of reminding myself who wears the proverbial pants in this relationship and of who needs to run the show at all times.

Because that’s the person who is on call 24/7/365. So I’m putting that person — ME! — on notice. No more nonsense. No more B.S. No more excuses.

And for the love of all that is right in the world, no more waiting. My time is now. Oh….and so is yours.