Your language. Words are powerful, sometimes so much so that their power scares you. So you dilute whenever you feel uncomfortable. You don’t speak up as much as you know you can, as you know you must. And when you do, you temper your words with evil fillers like “just” and “but” and “I was just thinking.” You tiptoe around strong ideas and are sure to apologize for feeling too much, for being too strong, for caring as much as you do. Your strength and power scare you; of course you don’t want them to scare others. Or offend. Or threaten. Or over-power. So you apologize and hem and haw and justify. Kinda sorta, huh?
Your habits. You do things to waste time, to keep you from doing important things, to occupy your mind so you can feel as if you are getting something accomplished. Old friends you can’t let go of. “Musts” that don’t make sense anymore. Crossing items off a to-do list and telling yourself that that is purposeful action. And let’s face it: Spending three hours on Facebook isn’t serving us in any real way. It is more than distracting; it is subversive. It probably isn’t even fun anymore, but it is what you do. Automatically. You’re upset, chronically, about 10 pounds you can’t seem to lose or your smoking addiction, yet you keep eating the junk food at midnight and buying more cases of Marlboros. Focusing on what you want isn’t enough; actually doing something (or stopping doing something) about it is what creates results. Easier said than done…
Your thoughts. This one can be a killer. (Close relative: Your attitude.) You know the idea of the self-fulfilling prophecy? Think it and chances are, eventually and in some way, it will happen. So when our thoughts suck, so to do our results. Thoughts are tied to beliefs and, let’s face it, some of our beliefs are super-messed-up. But we are so tied up and tangled in with them that we don’t have any perspective on our own selves anymore. We don’t see how, frankly, ridiculous some of our beliefs can be. Or outdated. Or baseless. We see it clearly in everyone else, but can be blind to it in ourselves. And as a result, some of our thoughts aren’t, let’s say, ideal. They aren’t helping our cause, that’s for sure. On the flip side, parroting back affirmations without putting in any accompanying actions isn’t bound to get you very far, either. Nor is watching “The Secret,” for that matter.
Do you have a 4th way you are getting in your own way?
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