Allison Nazarian Just another WordPress weblog

Some of you may know that I write a weekly blog (“Truth Tuesday”) for CurrentMom.com.

This week’s is my most personal yet – maybe ever (if you can believe that!?).

It is about my Mom.

I hope you will read it here.

xoxo Alli

A friend who visited my home and office a few times last year would joke with me about the many (many, many) self-help and personal development books I had lining my shelves.

My friend was right. It was a lot. Much less than some people I know (who combine the book addiction with the CD addiction with the seminar addiction with the information product addicition….) but far more than the average.

I wanted to write a love letter to 2009.

Because I loved all that was 2009. And 2009 loved me. And we were made for each other. And like a girl who can’t let go easily, I was sorry to see 2009 go.

I was going to title it “An Ode to 2009” (simple, yes). I was going to talk about my themes for 2009 (magic, clarity and peace) and for 2010 (patience, forgiveness and focus).

“Never depend on others to make you happy.
You can do it yourself.”

So today is Christmas. Wishing those of you who celebrate it (and actually all of you) a day of peace and joy. And hoping this peace and joy carry through every day of your life, Christmas or not. That goes for everyone.

I decided to write this blog post earlier this month. Actually, I didn’t “decide.”  I “knew.”

And ever since I “knew,” I have come up with plenty of delays, excuses and reasons why it wasn’t exactly the right time to write it.

Then I finally wrote it last week but didn’t post it.

I tweeted about it but sat on it and did nothing:

I had an interesting day.

And by “interesting,” I mean weird. A combination of introspective and realistic and scary and profound. All those things.

One of those days where you experience things and people and feelings that remind you of where you once were, of how far you have come, of what’s changed and of, yes, how far you still have to go.

As I mentioned in my now-famous (OK, not so much) ladybug post, one of my “Bucket List” items for 2009 was karaoke. Well, I not only did it but I did it big (with a big song) and publicly and with no visible singing skills whatsoever.

I stink, but it’s OK. I loved every second of it.

With apologies to the great Tori Amos (lyrics here)……

This is a song that “spoke” to me all these years.

And now I know why.

Because I, too, was silent all these years. (Read here about how I have been working on my voice…)

Since the time we were young kids, we were always told to “tell the truth.”

It was hammered into us. Honesty — that’s a virtue. Liars are bad people. You are good if you tell it like it is.

You go to court and you swear to tell “the whole truth and nothing but the truth.”

George Washington would never told a lie.

Over the years, I somehow, inexplicably became someone who chose hibernation and all that was “safe” over taking chances and getting the heck out of my comfort zone.

It seemed much easier.

No risk, no reward had its own kind of reward. Or so I told myself.

Then along came 2009.

And all bets were off.