I've Got The Power

by on May 4, 2010

in Allison Nazarian, Inspiration

Power.

I have it. You have it.

People (and by “people,” I mean all of us) lose sleep over it, dream of it, conspire to “get” more, exercise it, shy way from it and, in delicious moments of total alignment, use it in all its glory.

What do I mean by power?
Strength
Purpose
Mojo
Will
Forward Movement
Wisdom
Action

Or according to dictionary.com: ability to do or act; capability of doing or accomplishing something; a person or thing that possesses or exercises authority or influence; energy, force or momentum

Power is all those things that get stuff done, that allow us to move forward boldly, decisively, confidently, effectively. Power is a fuel that moves you forward in your life. It may go without saying that when you give it away, you have less for yourself.

I don’t believe anyone can take your power. Even in the worst of situations, even if you are in effect “powerless,” I don’t believe it can be taken without you giving it away.

How, when and to whom might you give it away?
•    To a boss or manager at work who wants to call all the shots
•    To a friend who takes up much of your time and energy for his/her dramas
•    To an Ex who remains in old patterns that you’d thought you left behind
•    To a client who make demands well beyond the scope of work agreed upon
•    To a child who knows how to manipulate and “push your buttons” to get the responses and rewards he/she craves
•    To various people in your life who make you their first stop for crises, dramas, dilemmas and challenges
•    To anyone in your life whose words, opinions or actions can control you, influence you, stop you in your tracks or move you in any way.

Yes, I have given it away. I’ve been too concerned about protecting someone else, supporting someone, “being there” for someone, making sure someone likes me, busting my you-know-what for a kind word of appreciation or a pat on the head.

I enabled. I supported. I helped. I made sure I was indispensible to people who quite frankly didn’t need, want or deserve it. I did a lot of things in the name of being a nice person, or a great mom/wife/friend/copywriter…all the while forgetting to protect myself and my power.

Really, though, it didn’t matter what the label was. I was giving my power away.

But now….I want it back.

And the cool thing is – it isn’t all that hard to take it back.

You just do it. You gather it from here and there, from this person and that, from this “must do” to that “I have to” and you just bring it back home.

Then you keep it and you build on it and you nurture it and you respect it and you use it. Because it was given to you for that very reason: It is meant to be used.

That’s what I have been doing. Bringing the power back home and making sure its quarters are ready. I’m 86’ing the clutter, the people, the things, the stuff that wasn’t working for me that was draining, taking and sapping my power.

As all of this is happening, over the past week or 10 days, my throat has been sore in a nagging but not overly painful or worrisome way. Hasn’t gotten much better, but not much worse either. I believe our body is talking to us at all times and it is our job to listen. So I looked up “sore throat” and its underlying feeling or emotion.

And wouldn’t you know it, here is what I found:

Holding in angry words. Feeling unable to express the self.

I guess you could say I was angry. I thought I had no power. That is enough to make someone like me angry, or at the very least unexpressed. My voice and my words – they are all I have. They are my power. But I hadn’t been treating them as such.

Those who previously had pieces of my power will now get something different from me: I will send them my compassion and forgiveness and understanding.

But not my regret.

And not my energy.

And certainly not my power.

If you get nothing else from this blog post, here is what I hope you will take to heart:

When and if you keep, protect and nourish your power, you will be able to move mountains.

To change the world.

To be stronger than you ever imagined.

Don’t hold back.

Don’t divide your power.

Don’t pass it out to each outstretched hand you see.

Don’t depend on someone else for your power.

Don’t cede control over your emotions, your feelings, your dreams or your life to another person or situation.

How will you know when you are standing firmly and alone in your power? I can’t tell you what it will feel like for you. I can tell you that you will know. At your core, you will know. It may at times scare the crap out of you. That’s OK. But when you really own it, when you allow it to do its thing, oh how you will soar.

I know that for me, when I am doing or acting or thinking for or from one of these four places, then I am in my power:

Freedom
Love
Enlightenment
Serenity

If something doesn’t do or bring one of those things to me, then it is not for me.

You’ve got the power, too. And once you figure our where your power lies, what it looks like and what it is meant to do, then it’s time for you to go bring it home and let it work its magic. The world will thank you and I thank you, too.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...

Previous post:

Next post:

  • TomMcFeeley

    As someone who's guilty of sapping some of that power (very occasionally I hope), thanks for reminding us that we have the power and the choice of our “power distribution” is ultimately up to us. It's hard to decide to temporarily give the power and then end up in a tug-of-war to get it back. But you can take it back. Great analogies, and insightful writing again

  • TomMcFeeley

    As someone who's guilty of sapping some of that power (very occasionally I hope), thanks for reminding us that we have the power and the choice of our “power distribution” is ultimately up to us. It's hard to decide to temporarily give the power and then end up in a tug-of-war to get it back. But you can take it back. Great analogies, and insightful writing again

    • http://allisonnazarian.com/ Allison Nazarian

      Thanks Tommy…
      Our power is, I think, so powerful that sometimes we mis-manage it. Not because we can't manage it, but because we underestimate it.
      xo ~ Alli

  • http://simplytrece.wordpress.com Trece

    You are so brilliant. I do however wonder about the connection between money, power and the lack thereof.

  • http://simplytrece.wordpress.com Trece

    You are so brilliant. I do however wonder about the connection between money, power and the lack thereof.

    • http://allisonnazarian.com/ Allison Nazarian

      HI Trece,
      Thank you!
      Tell me more what you mean re the connection between money and power….
      xo ~ Alli

      • http://simplytrece.wordpress.com Trece

        I feel that lack of money often translates to lack of power, whether this is a mis-perception on an individual's part, or society's. For example, lack of money often severely limits choice in many things. I guess I equate poverty with powerlessness.

  • MissMandie

    Thank you so much for this really timely post. I just discovered you over the weekend (along with Elizabeth and Johnny) and I am so happy to have found you! You're ability to express in words what so many of us think and feel is such an amazing talent.

    I had a meeting today with a friend that presented a business opportunity to me. It sounded great in theory, but all the energy in my body was saying “no”. I felt bad. I side stepped. I didn't stand in my power and be up front with her about my feelings. Truth is, if I am honest, I knew it was a no when she first emailed me about it – I could have avoided the whole trouble of the meeting if I had owned my power in that first instance.

    You're list of the elements that need to present for you to do something filled me with the reassurance of my own truth. The fact is, I am at a point now where I need my heart to be engaged in projects before I am willing to consider them – its not enough to sell the point of making money to me. I expect more than that in the projects I embark on. I am going to reflect on the exact qualities I need to be present and use them as my firm guideline to determine whether something is for me. That way, I wont spend wasted time side stepping around my truth.

    Thanks Alison!

  • MissMandie

    Thank you so much for this really timely post. I just discovered you over the weekend (along with Elizabeth and Johnny) and I am so happy to have found you! You're ability to express in words what so many of us think and feel is such an amazing talent.

    I had a meeting today with a friend that presented a business opportunity to me. It sounded great in theory, but all the energy in my body was saying “no”. I felt bad. I side stepped. I didn't stand in my power and be up front with her about my feelings. Truth is, if I am honest, I knew it was a no when she first emailed me about it – I could have avoided the whole trouble of the meeting if I had owned my power in that first instance.

    You're list of the elements that need to present for you to do something filled me with the reassurance of my own truth. The fact is, I am at a point now where I need my heart to be engaged in projects before I am willing to consider them – its not enough to sell the point of making money to me. I expect more than that in the projects I embark on. I am going to reflect on the exact qualities I need to be present and use them as my firm guideline to determine whether something is for me. That way, I wont spend wasted time side stepping around my truth.

    Thanks Alison!

    • http://allisonnazarian.com/ Allison Nazarian

      Hi Mandie!
      Thank you for your comment and glad you found me :)
      You bring up an amazing point — sometimes, oftentimes actually, all that is required to claim back out power is that one little word that is so, so, so hard to say: NO.
      Hope you will be back!
      xo ~ Alli

  • http://realsimplepeople.com John Sherry

    Your intro was one of the best I've ever read Alison. It makes so much sense and the post that followed it. For me the powerful point is not to give power to others but find our own and use it. Great advice, never so needed as these uncertain times.

    • http://allisonnazarian.com/ Allison Nazarian

      HI John,
      Thanks so much for your kind words.
      As I was saying to someone else, and as you said, our job is to use our power from ourselves, from within, instead of diluting it and passing it around. It's not that we don't know how to use it, it's more that we don't realize how much we can do with it.
      Thank you again!
      ~ Alli

  • http://elizabethpottsweinstein.com ElizabethPW

    This is *huge* – when I'm frustrated with someone in my life, this is why … I've let them have the power and now I'm pissy because things are not going how I want. Especially b/c I'm so giving and generous and supportive … and don't understand when I'm not getting that back.

    “power is never given – power is taken” ~ @gapingvoid

  • http://elizabethpottsweinstein.com ElizabethPW

    This is *huge* – when I'm frustrated with someone in my life, this is why … I've let them have the power and now I'm pissy because things are not going how I want. Especially b/c I'm so giving and generous and supportive … and don't understand when I'm not getting that back.

    “power is never given – power is taken” ~ @gapingvoid

    • http://allisonnazarian.com/ Allison Nazarian

      EPW,
      Yes re pissy. Yes re giving and generous. Yes re not understanding why everyone isn't always as we are.
      #loveyou
      xo ~ Alli

  • meganmatthieson

    Woohoo! This is such a great post Allison! And timely for me. (I don't agree w Hugh Mcleod though- that power is taken.) Well…yeah. But you have to be the willing GIVER. And wowza- was I handing it over to someone. Not. Any. More. :)

  • meganmatthieson

    Woohoo! This is such a great post Allison! And timely for me. (I don't agree w Hugh Mcleod though- that power is taken.) Well…yeah. But you have to be the willing GIVER. And wowza- was I handing it over to someone. Not. Any. More. :)

    • http://allisonnazarian.com/ Allison Nazarian

      MM:
      I agree with you re power — people may want it from us or want to sap us of ours, but they do not have the ability (or the power) to actually take it from us — only we have the power to give it away in one of so many ways. (Of course, they will gladly accept it any way they can get it.)
      I'm so glad this was timely for you.
      xo ~ Alli

  • http://allisonnazarian.com/ Allison Nazarian

    MM:
    I agree with you re power — people may want it from us or want to sap us of ours, but they do not have the ability (or the power) to actually take it from us — only we have the power to give it away in one of so many ways. (Of course, they will gladly accept it any way they can get it.)
    I'm so glad this was timely for you.
    xo ~ Alli

  • http://allisonnazarian.com/ Allison Nazarian

    EPW,
    Yes re pissy. Yes re giving and generous. Yes re not understanding why everyone isn't always as we are.
    #loveyou
    xo ~ Alli

  • http://allisonnazarian.com/ Allison Nazarian

    Hi Mandie!
    Thank you for your comment and glad you found me :)
    You bring up an amazing point — sometimes, oftentimes actually, all that is required to claim back out power is that one little word that is so, so, so hard to say: NO.
    Hope you will be back!
    xo ~ Alli

  • http://allisonnazarian.com/ Allison Nazarian

    HI Trece,
    Thank you!
    Tell me more what you mean re the connection between money and power….
    xo ~ Alli

  • http://allisonnazarian.com/ Allison Nazarian

    Thanks Tommy…
    Our power is, I think, so powerful that sometimes we mis-manage it. Not because we can't manage it, but because we underestimate it.
    xo ~ Alli

  • http://allisonnazarian.com/ Allison Nazarian

    HI John,
    Thanks so much for your kind words.
    As I was saying to someone else, and as you said, our job is to use our power from ourselves, from within, instead of diluting it and passing it around. It's not that we don't know how to use it, it's more that we don't realize how much we can do with it.
    Thank you again!
    ~ Alli

  • http://simplytrece.wordpress.com Trece

    I feel that lack of money often translates to lack of power, whether this is a mis-perception on an individual's part, or society's. For example, lack of money often severely limits choice in many things. I guess I equate poverty with powerlessness.

  • Pingback: Getting Started Getting It All