Introducing: The Lull

by Allison Nazarian on April 5, 2010

in Allison Nazarian, Real Life, The Life of Allison

I talk about it a lot with my close friends.

It.

My thing right now. Maybe yours now, or before, or later.

It’s The Lull.

The Lull. It’s a term I came up with sometime last year in the throes of my own personal lull. But The Lull certainly isn’t mine. The Lull is universal. (Dictionary definition: A temporary calm, quiet, or stillness: a lull in a storm, a soothing sound.)

The Lull. It is a time, place, feeling, aura, energy, thing that you live, feel, experience, breathe, go crazy from, can’t figure out, desperately need, reject and embrace.

The Lull. It is the period (sorry, I can’t give you a specific time or length) after what came before but before what is next.

The Lull.

It is limbo.

It is neither here nor there.

It doesn’t have a map, a plan or a handy GPS.

No one aspires to hang in The Lull.

It doesn’t make sense, but it makes all the sense in the world.

It is both fleeting and endless.

No, it isn’t one of those wacky riddles. And yes, it is so freakin weird.

The Lull is what happens after you make or experience big decisions, announcements, upheavals, changes, shifts, realizations yet before those big decisions, announcements, upheavals, changes, shifts or realizations translate to the next stage of your every-day life.

I can’t give you a ton of advice (or maybe not any) for your Lull(s). Here is what I do know, though:

Having real friends who “get” you, who don’t judge and who make themselves available to you and all your weirdness (not a judgment, I promise) is a major key to being OK in The Lull.

Along those lines, I can also tell you that The Lull is definitely, certainly, totally not the time or place to allow your Inner Critic to do his/her thing at high gear. Tell him/her to lay off for a while. The Lull best does its thing when you are as free as possible from self-judgment.

Don’t be a Lull Hater. As already established, The Lull is weirdness in so many ways. Especially for people who like to have A Guarantee or A Plan or know The Way. See The Lull for what it is. A gift. Seriously.

I can also tell you that drinking, smoking, over-tweeting, over-socializing, excessive comfort zone dwelling or making/carrying out massive decisions during The Lull may not be a good idea. Extra chocolate is likely recommended. (Really, that’s not just me saying that…..) Moving your body in a gym or outside for a walk or in some way that has nothing to do with your computer, TV or the Internet is a huge positive, too.

This morning in a text and later a tweet with friends, I likened a feeling I have right now to “being at the corner of Lost and Found.” (In case you haven’t figured it out by this point, I am so in The Lull they may name a building there after me.)

It can go either way. I can go either way. You, too, can go either way.

And guess who decides for me? Me. Moi. Yours Truly. And for you? Same thing: Only you.

That’s why I am picking “Found” over “Lost” any day of the week.

So whether you are in The Lull right now or whether you fear The Lull or maybe you recall your most frequent Lull with fondness or some other emotion, I send you a big hug. Not for any profound reason; mostly because hugs rock to begin with, and they feel all the better when you are in The Lull.

I’m riding out my own Lull as peacefully and lovingly as I can. My own Lull is about compassion and passion and forgiveness, that much I do know.

So if you are out and about in The Lull, I will likely see you at the corner. You know which corner I’m talking about.

Ciao.

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TomMcFeeley

You're amazing. You always find words to describe feelings I have but can't articulate. Thanks for making sense of these things. I was in the lulll. Now I'm found. Or more accurately, I found my path. But I tried to enjoy the lull.
TomMcFeeley

You're amazing. You always find words to describe feelings I have but can't articulate. Thanks for making sense of these things. I was in the lulll. Now I'm found. Or more accurately, I found my path. But I tried to enjoy the lull.

http://allisonnazarian.com/ Allison Nazarian

Tommy,
Sometimes it is easier to enjoy it once it is over. But even being aware of it is sooo important and maybe half the battle.
xo ~ Alli

http://allisonnazarian.com/ Allison Nazarian

Tommy,
Sometimes it is easier to enjoy it once it is over. But even being aware of it is sooo important and maybe half the battle.
xo ~ Alli
Leanna

Sounds like a lovely savasana after a yoga practice. To let your body and mind absorb all you have just done.
Leanna

Sounds like a lovely savasana after a yoga practice. To let your body and mind absorb all you have just done.

http://allisonnazarian.com/ Allison Nazarian

Hi Leanna,
That is a lovely comparison. And all the more poignant for me bc it is clearly a sign about me starting yoga which is something I have so been thinking about.
Thank you!
~ Alli

http://allisonnazarian.com/ Allison Nazarian

Hi Leanna,
That is a lovely comparison. And all the more poignant for me bc it is clearly a sign about me starting yoga which is something I have so been thinking about.
Thank you!
~ Alli
http://elizabethpottsweinstein.com ElizabethPW

As I sent in a text to you at like two in the morning on Saturday night, I am in the lull. (well, and I also said the f-word). And I think one big thing for me is to stop being pissed about it.
http://elizabethpottsweinstein.com ElizabethPW

As I sent in a text to you at like two in the morning on Saturday night, I am in the lull. (well, and I also said the f-word). And I think one big thing for me is to stop being pissed about it.

http://allisonnazarian.com/ Allison Nazarian

An important component of staying sane while in The Lull is, for many, over-use of some choice words, including the “F” word. So you are not only doing great in The Lull, you are also thriving there!
xo ~ Alli

http://ramartijr.com/about-us/about-michele-corona/ Michele

Yea, that is EXACTLY where I am right now. Great advice about not fighting it. I am a planner, I like to know the next step. This is one of the most powerful, and for me timely articles I have ever read. Seriously, thank you. You nailed it.
http://www.1degree.biz Michele

Yea, that is EXACTLY where I am right now. Great advice about not fighting it. I am a planner, I like to know the next step. This is one of the most powerful, and for me timely articles I have ever read. Seriously, thank you. You nailed it.

http://allisonnazarian.com/ Allison Nazarian

Hi Michele,
Awesome, thank you.
I am a planner too. I hate that there are forces that know better than I do what's next for me. Then again, I love it too.
xo ~ Alli

randomshelly

I think I have the building next to yours…LOL. I'm in a lull myself. Have been for a bit… well took me 2 years to land in the lull and then go through all the upheaval and 'stuff' – but I am firmly planted in the lull.

And I love it. I am finding me – my passion and myself really.

I'm on the verge of stepping out of the lull (I hope) – so I will definitely take your hug and bear hug you back! They really are the best aren't they? – chocolate is nice – and needed – but hugs are like crack for the soul
http://www.randomshelly.com/blog/ Shelly

I think I have the building next to yours…LOL. I'm in a lull myself. Have been for a bit… well took me 2 years to land in the lull and then go through all the upheaval and 'stuff' – but I am firmly planted in the lull.

And I love it. I am finding me – my passion and myself really.

I'm on the verge of stepping out of the lull (I hope) – so I will definitely take your hug and bear hug you back! They really are the best aren't they? – chocolate is nice – and needed – but hugs are like crack for the soul

http://allisonnazarian.com/ Allison Nazarian

Hi Shelly,
Thank you for the hug, honey.
Love that “crack for the soul” — awesome!
xo ~ Alli

http://allisonnazarian.com/ Allison Nazarian

An important component of staying sane while in The Lull is, for many, over-use of some choice words, including the “F” word. So you are not only doing great in The Lull, you are also thriving there!
xo ~ Alli
http://allisonnazarian.com/ Allison Nazarian

Hi Michele,
Awesome, thank you.
I am a planner too. I hate that there are forces that know better than I do what's next for me. Then again, I love it too.
xo ~ Alli
http://allisonnazarian.com/ Allison Nazarian

Hi Shelly,
Thank you for the hug, honey.
Love that “crack for the soul” — awesome!
xo ~ Alli
http://www.gurls-asylum.us Gurl

I've always struggled to explain this place to others. Maybe they just don't get this…type of being where you are yet you aren't. There are a few who must because they actually understood my not quite right explanations. Thank you so much for saying what I've been struggling to say. Think this is going to get a permanent place in my bookmarks for explaining next time someone asks whats wrong with me!

http://allisonnazarian.com/ Allison Nazarian

Thank you back! I am glad you have an explanation now — truth is, whomever is asking you to explain has been or is or also will be in The Lull at some point — for sure!
~Alli

http://www.tamethewritingmonster.com/ Carol Hess

Loved this post. You did a wonderful job describing what I have always called Limboland (not half as much fun as Candyland). Think I like The Lull better. It's a time when my life is like a fallow field — fertile, seeded with all sorts of great things getting ready to happen that just haven't broken the surface yet to be seen. I just need to be patient and pay attention and not, for heaven's sake (as I've done oh so many times before), move on to another field that looks more promising.

http://allisonnazarian.com/ Allison Nazarian

Hi Carol,
I can totally relate to moving on to another field — starting a million things and moving from one to another has always been an M.O. for me. OF course, that pattern leads to lack of focus and total frustration (for me, at least).
Thank you for your comment!
~ Alli
P.S. Candyland sounds fun

http://twitter.com/IAC_Heather Heather

I have come to enjoy the lull periods in my life. It gives me the time to reflect, relax, and regroup. Some of my best ideas come in the lull. I think the lull is scary when you're normally super busy all the time. It's like quiet time you don't know how to handle.
http://twitter.com/IAC_Heather Heather

I have come to enjoy the lull periods in my life. It gives me the time to reflect, relax, and regroup. Some of my best ideas come in the lull. I think the lull is scary when you're normally super busy all the time. It's like quiet time you don't know how to handle.

http://allisonnazarian.com/ Allison Nazarian

I totally agree, Heather!
It is like when one of my kids tells me he/she is bored, I say “Good!” We are often afraid or at least jolted by quiet and seeming nothingness.
Thank you for your comment!
~ Alli

http://www.simplystatedsolutions.com/ Nichole Bazemore

Thanks for post, Allison. Isn't it funny (well, maybe not) that we can look at someone else and think they have it all together and not realize they're in limbo (which really can be its own silent hell)? I think too many of us live our lives in the lull, always expecting that what awaits is better than whatever is now. It's like waiting for that brass band to come marching down the street and announce, “Hey, your life is here!” Thank you for reminding us that whether we move forward or stay stagnant during this time is totally up to us.
http://www.simplystatedsolutions.com/ Nichole Bazemore

Thanks for post, Allison. Isn't it funny (well, maybe not) that we can look at someone else and think they have it all together and not realize they're in limbo (which really can be its own silent hell)? I think too many of us live our lives in the lull, always expecting that what awaits is better than whatever is now. It's like waiting for that brass band to come marching down the street and announce, “Hey, your life is here!” Thank you for reminding us that whether we move forward or stay stagnant during this time is totally up to us.

http://allisonnazarian.com/ Allison Nazarian

Nichole,
I LOVE what you say about the marching band! Wow, sooo true. Your life is now, not later or someday. And The Lull is part of that life!
Thank you for your comment.
~ Alli

http://allisonnazarian.com/ Allison Nazarian

Thank you back! I am glad you have an explanation now — truth is, whomever is asking you to explain has been or is or also will be in The Lull at some point — for sure!
~Alli
http://allisonnazarian.com/ Allison Nazarian

Hi Carol,
I can totally relate to moving on to another field — starting a million things and moving from one to another has always been an M.O. for me. OF course, that pattern leads to lack of focus and total frustration (for me, at least).
Thank you for your comment!
~ Alli
P.S. Candyland sounds fun
http://allisonnazarian.com/ Allison Nazarian

I totally agree, Heather!
It is like when one of my kids tells me he/she is bored, I say “Good!” We are often afraid or at least jolted by quiet and seeming nothingness.
Thank you for your comment!
~ Alli
http://allisonnazarian.com/ Allison Nazarian

Nichole,
I LOVE what you say about the marching band! Wow, sooo true. Your life is now, not later or someday. And The Lull is part of that life!
Thank you for your comment.
~ Alli
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susandonegan

Thank you for the “The Lull”…I have been at the corner of Lost and Found for over a year now, maybe even longer than that. I have worked very hard to allow myself to be comfortable with the unknown, a serious challenge for us “planners” and “need to know” personalities. I have calmed myself down over the last several months and am evolving into “The Lull”. What I am learning, is that this period is really not that bad and that I have been given the great gift of time to determine what I value most and how I can steer all aspects of my life in that direction. Not many people get the chance to do that and I am grateful for the lull that is leading me peacefully into the next phase of life.

http://www.TheCopywritingStore.com AllisonNazarian

Hi Susan,
I knew you looked familiar, from the corner!
I am learning that we stay in The Lull for exactly as long as we need to. And we always always look back at it with thanks. But it isn’t always easy when you are standing at that corner. Sigh.
~ Alli

susandonegan

Thank you for the “The Lull”…I have been at the corner of Lost and Found for over a year now, maybe even longer than that. I have worked very hard to allow myself to be comfortable with the unknown, a serious challenge for us “planners” and “need to know” personalities. I have calmed myself down over the last several months and am evolving into “The Lull”. What I am learning, is that this period is really not that bad and that I have been given the great gift of time to determine what I value most and how I can steer all aspects of my life in that direction. Not many people get the chance to do that and I am grateful for the lull that is leading me peacefully into the next phase of life.
kimcastle

AN- I haven't been so much in “The Lull” but I work with so many folks who are passing through it now. Nope, I've been visiting with “it's” cousin, “Pointless”. Despite all my passion, all my knowing, all my working with amazing entrereneurs around the world, there's been this feeling of no matter what I'm doing, that a part of it all is pointless. Because a par of it is. We're in the middle of the biggest change this planet has ever seen. Huge dimensional shifts are taking place. We're transitioning from one dimension to another, with one foot on both, and trying to reconcile them and us in the middle. What I've realized is to remove the judgment of myself and the world right now and just BE on the ride…of course I'm keeping my seat belt belt buckled and my hands inside the car at all times. “The Lull” might be your way of preparing for this change. : ) BTW: I love your writing.
kimcastle

AN- I haven't been so much in “The Lull” but I work with so many folks who are passing through it now. Nope, I've been visiting with “it's” cousin, “Pointless”. Despite all my passion, all my knowing, all my working with amazing entrereneurs around the world, there's been this feeling of no matter what I'm doing, that a part of it all is pointless. Because a par of it is. We're in the middle of the biggest change this planet has ever seen. Huge dimensional shifts are taking place. We're transitioning from one dimension to another, with one foot on both, and trying to reconcile them and us in the middle. What I've realized is to remove the judgment of myself and the world right now and just BE on the ride…of course I'm keeping my seat belt belt buckled and my hands inside the car at all times. “The Lull” might be your way of preparing for this change. : ) BTW: I love your writing.
meganmatthieson

(love your pic at the top!) I was sitting here trying to think of a habit to let go of….and then I realized that I'm not in a LULL. Not at all. But my lull will come soon enough and I'm going to …do this. Break a habit. Change something. Keep moving forward.
meganmatthieson

(love your pic at the top!) I was sitting here trying to think of a habit to let go of….and then I realized that I'm not in a LULL. Not at all. But my lull will come soon enough and I'm going to …do this. Break a habit. Change something. Keep moving forward.
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