Comments on: Happiness Is A DIY Job http://allisonnazarian.com/happiness-is-a-diy-job/ The Rest Is Still Unwritten Sat, 04 Feb 2012 12:53:00 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 By: Allison Nazarian http://allisonnazarian.com/happiness-is-a-diy-job/#comment-343 Allison Nazarian Tue, 29 Dec 2009 01:37:41 +0000 http://allisonnazarian.com/?p=121#comment-343 Hi Roy,<br>Awesome comment!<br>You are right on Assumption 1 for sure. Yes ALL people are capable of happiness. Does this mean that all people are happy or even trying to be happy? Nope. Those people you refer to as "martyrs" and many others do gain from their martyrdom. And for a variety of reasons, martyrdom works for them. But that doesn't mean they aren't capable of what you and I might consider or call happiness.<br>As for two, interesting. I think what you are saying is that of those actively trying to be or feel happy, there are some who simply mentally, physically or otherwise cannot. I'm not sure if I agree or not. I do know that it is all about the stories we tell ourselves and the emotions we build around those stories that make or break us. And of course, external help in the form of support and love can also make or break us. But ultimately, we have all we need to be happy (or freakin miserable) within ourselves.<br>That's my story and I'm sticking to it! :)<br>Alli<br>P.S. Agreed on the fortune cookies :) but I take what I can get. Hi Roy,
Awesome comment!
You are right on Assumption 1 for sure. Yes ALL people are capable of happiness. Does this mean that all people are happy or even trying to be happy? Nope. Those people you refer to as “martyrs” and many others do gain from their martyrdom. And for a variety of reasons, martyrdom works for them. But that doesn't mean they aren't capable of what you and I might consider or call happiness.
As for two, interesting. I think what you are saying is that of those actively trying to be or feel happy, there are some who simply mentally, physically or otherwise cannot. I'm not sure if I agree or not. I do know that it is all about the stories we tell ourselves and the emotions we build around those stories that make or break us. And of course, external help in the form of support and love can also make or break us. But ultimately, we have all we need to be happy (or freakin miserable) within ourselves.
That's my story and I'm sticking to it! :)
Alli
P.S. Agreed on the fortune cookies :) but I take what I can get.

]]> By: Allison Nazarian http://allisonnazarian.com/happiness-is-a-diy-job/#comment-1760 Allison Nazarian Tue, 29 Dec 2009 01:37:41 +0000 http://allisonnazarian.com/?p=121#comment-1760 Hi Roy,<br>Awesome comment!<br>You are right on Assumption 1 for sure. Yes ALL people are capable of happiness. Does this mean that all people are happy or even trying to be happy? Nope. Those people you refer to as "martyrs" and many others do gain from their martyrdom. And for a variety of reasons, martyrdom works for them. But that doesn't mean they aren't capable of what you and I might consider or call happiness.<br>As for two, interesting. I think what you are saying is that of those actively trying to be or feel happy, there are some who simply mentally, physically or otherwise cannot. I'm not sure if I agree or not. I do know that it is all about the stories we tell ourselves and the emotions we build around those stories that make or break us. And of course, external help in the form of support and love can also make or break us. But ultimately, we have all we need to be happy (or freakin miserable) within ourselves.<br>That's my story and I'm sticking to it! :)<br>Alli<br>P.S. Agreed on the fortune cookies :) but I take what I can get. Hi Roy,
Awesome comment!
You are right on Assumption 1 for sure. Yes ALL people are capable of happiness. Does this mean that all people are happy or even trying to be happy? Nope. Those people you refer to as “martyrs” and many others do gain from their martyrdom. And for a variety of reasons, martyrdom works for them. But that doesn't mean they aren't capable of what you and I might consider or call happiness.
As for two, interesting. I think what you are saying is that of those actively trying to be or feel happy, there are some who simply mentally, physically or otherwise cannot. I'm not sure if I agree or not. I do know that it is all about the stories we tell ourselves and the emotions we build around those stories that make or break us. And of course, external help in the form of support and love can also make or break us. But ultimately, we have all we need to be happy (or freakin miserable) within ourselves.
That's my story and I'm sticking to it! :)
Alli
P.S. Agreed on the fortune cookies :) but I take what I can get.

]]> By: Allison Nazarian http://allisonnazarian.com/happiness-is-a-diy-job/#comment-342 Allison Nazarian Mon, 28 Dec 2009 18:37:41 +0000 http://allisonnazarian.com/?p=121#comment-342 Hi Roy,<br>Awesome comment!<br>You are right on Assumption 1 for sure. Yes ALL people are capable of happiness. Does this mean that all people are happy or even trying to be happy? Nope. Those people you refer to as "martyrs" and many others do gain from their martyrdom. And for a variety of reasons, martyrdom works for them. But that doesn't mean they aren't capable of what you and I might consider or call happiness.<br>As for two, interesting. I think what you are saying is that of those actively trying to be or feel happy, there are some who simply mentally, physically or otherwise cannot. I'm not sure if I agree or not. I do know that it is all about the stories we tell ourselves and the emotions we build around those stories that make or break us. And of course, external help in the form of support and love can also make or break us. But ultimately, we have all we need to be happy (or freakin miserable) within ourselves.<br>That's my story and I'm sticking to it! :)<br>Alli<br>P.S. Agreed on the fortune cookies :) but I take what I can get. Hi Roy,
Awesome comment!
You are right on Assumption 1 for sure. Yes ALL people are capable of happiness. Does this mean that all people are happy or even trying to be happy? Nope. Those people you refer to as “martyrs” and many others do gain from their martyrdom. And for a variety of reasons, martyrdom works for them. But that doesn't mean they aren't capable of what you and I might consider or call happiness.
As for two, interesting. I think what you are saying is that of those actively trying to be or feel happy, there are some who simply mentally, physically or otherwise cannot. I'm not sure if I agree or not. I do know that it is all about the stories we tell ourselves and the emotions we build around those stories that make or break us. And of course, external help in the form of support and love can also make or break us. But ultimately, we have all we need to be happy (or freakin miserable) within ourselves.
That's my story and I'm sticking to it! :)
Alli
P.S. Agreed on the fortune cookies :) but I take what I can get.

]]> By: roynakdimon http://allisonnazarian.com/happiness-is-a-diy-job/#comment-1759 roynakdimon Mon, 28 Dec 2009 07:38:25 +0000 http://allisonnazarian.com/?p=121#comment-1759 I pondered this post for a while (as I usually do), and decided that there are two assumptions that you are making:<br><br>1. That all people are capable of happiness<br>2. That these that are capable of happiness, are all able to achieve same without external help.<br><br>Let's start by addressing the first statement: from my (limited) experience, some people are perpetual martyrs. In other words, not only are they NOT happy, but they are perfectly comfortable in that natural habitat of theirs. Any attempt to find happiness is destined to failure, as it is neither sincere, nor possible. Amazingly, these are the ones who are most vocal in their (futile) search. <br><br>An analogy for the second group can be found with that person who is drowning while fighting the waves. He or she needs a floating device for a start, and a helping hand to get back to shore. It is not so much a matter of either will or determination like it is a physical limitation at times, resulting from a traumatic enough event.<br><br>Now, don’t get me wrong. Clichés (particularly the ones found in fortune cookies) are an effective spirit lifter (or is it the sugar?!), but in real life, sadly, sometimes the lottery numbers on the other side prove more useful :-) I pondered this post for a while (as I usually do), and decided that there are two assumptions that you are making:

1. That all people are capable of happiness
2. That these that are capable of happiness, are all able to achieve same without external help.

Let's start by addressing the first statement: from my (limited) experience, some people are perpetual martyrs. In other words, not only are they NOT happy, but they are perfectly comfortable in that natural habitat of theirs. Any attempt to find happiness is destined to failure, as it is neither sincere, nor possible. Amazingly, these are the ones who are most vocal in their (futile) search.

An analogy for the second group can be found with that person who is drowning while fighting the waves. He or she needs a floating device for a start, and a helping hand to get back to shore. It is not so much a matter of either will or determination like it is a physical limitation at times, resulting from a traumatic enough event.

Now, don’t get me wrong. Clichés (particularly the ones found in fortune cookies) are an effective spirit lifter (or is it the sugar?!), but in real life, sadly, sometimes the lottery numbers on the other side prove more useful :-)

]]> By: roynakdimon http://allisonnazarian.com/happiness-is-a-diy-job/#comment-341 roynakdimon Mon, 28 Dec 2009 00:38:25 +0000 http://allisonnazarian.com/?p=121#comment-341 I pondered this post for a while (as I usually do), and decided that there are two assumptions that you are making:<br><br>1. That all people are capable of happiness<br>2. That these that are capable of happiness, are all able to achieve same without external help.<br><br>Let's start by addressing the first statement: from my (limited) experience, some people are perpetual martyrs. In other words, not only are they NOT happy, but they are perfectly comfortable in that natural habitat of theirs. Any attempt to find happiness is destined to failure, as it is neither sincere, nor possible. Amazingly, these are the ones who are most vocal in their (futile) search. <br><br>An analogy for the second group can be found with that person who is drowning while fighting the waves. He or she needs a floating device for a start, and a helping hand to get back to shore. It is not so much a matter of either will or determination like it is a physical limitation at times, resulting from a traumatic enough event.<br><br>Now, don’t get me wrong. Clichés (particularly the ones found in fortune cookies) are an effective spirit lifter (or is it the sugar?!), but in real life, sadly, sometimes the lottery numbers on the other side prove more useful :-) I pondered this post for a while (as I usually do), and decided that there are two assumptions that you are making:

1. That all people are capable of happiness
2. That these that are capable of happiness, are all able to achieve same without external help.

Let's start by addressing the first statement: from my (limited) experience, some people are perpetual martyrs. In other words, not only are they NOT happy, but they are perfectly comfortable in that natural habitat of theirs. Any attempt to find happiness is destined to failure, as it is neither sincere, nor possible. Amazingly, these are the ones who are most vocal in their (futile) search.

An analogy for the second group can be found with that person who is drowning while fighting the waves. He or she needs a floating device for a start, and a helping hand to get back to shore. It is not so much a matter of either will or determination like it is a physical limitation at times, resulting from a traumatic enough event.

Now, don’t get me wrong. Clichés (particularly the ones found in fortune cookies) are an effective spirit lifter (or is it the sugar?!), but in real life, sadly, sometimes the lottery numbers on the other side prove more useful :-)

]]> By: Allison Nazarian http://allisonnazarian.com/happiness-is-a-diy-job/#comment-1764 Allison Nazarian Sat, 26 Dec 2009 03:44:16 +0000 http://allisonnazarian.com/?p=121#comment-1764 Hi Lynn,<br>Thank you for your comment!<br>Hope you enjoyed the day (and the food :))<br>Alli Hi Lynn,
Thank you for your comment!
Hope you enjoyed the day (and the food :) )
Alli

]]> By: Allison Nazarian http://allisonnazarian.com/happiness-is-a-diy-job/#comment-1762 Allison Nazarian Sat, 26 Dec 2009 03:43:20 +0000 http://allisonnazarian.com/?p=121#comment-1762 Hi Bob,<br>You are SO right on about there being more questions outside. Just noise. Noise that we all-too-often use as en excuse or distraction -- to avoid the real stuff inside us. It is tiring though....<br>Alli<br>P.S. I had NO idea your name is Bob, Mr Mom :) Hi Bob,
You are SO right on about there being more questions outside. Just noise. Noise that we all-too-often use as en excuse or distraction — to avoid the real stuff inside us. It is tiring though….
Alli
P.S. I had NO idea your name is Bob, Mr Mom :)

]]> By: Bob Snitchler http://allisonnazarian.com/happiness-is-a-diy-job/#comment-1761 Bob Snitchler Sat, 26 Dec 2009 03:08:55 +0000 http://allisonnazarian.com/?p=121#comment-1761 Great post, Allison. "No answers outside of you" < outside you, there are only more questions. The questions that need to be answered, though, are the ones from inside. The hard part about that is trying to recognize the questions in the 'noise' of our lives. Sounds like you got a great start on that! Keep it up! <br>MrMomInVA Great post, Allison. “No answers outside of you” < outside you, there are only more questions. The questions that need to be answered, though, are the ones from inside. The hard part about that is trying to recognize the questions in the 'noise' of our lives. Sounds like you got a great start on that! Keep it up!
MrMomInVA

]]> By: LynnATL http://allisonnazarian.com/happiness-is-a-diy-job/#comment-1763 LynnATL Sat, 26 Dec 2009 03:04:34 +0000 http://allisonnazarian.com/?p=121#comment-1763 “Never depend on others to make you happy.<br>You can do it yourself.”<br>I've been thinking and talking much of today, as well - we are going for Chinese and a movie shortly. Thanks for the very thoughtful reminder that my time is NOW. “Never depend on others to make you happy.
You can do it yourself.”
I've been thinking and talking much of today, as well – we are going for Chinese and a movie shortly. Thanks for the very thoughtful reminder that my time is NOW.

]]> By: Allison Nazarian http://allisonnazarian.com/happiness-is-a-diy-job/#comment-1766 Allison Nazarian Sat, 26 Dec 2009 02:38:12 +0000 http://allisonnazarian.com/?p=121#comment-1766 Hi T!<br>Yes -- happy as a lark!<br>"Perform your philosophy" -- love it, thank you. In the past I may have not realized what this philosophy was at its core. But I know now. <br>Have a GREAT day and weekend my friend.<br>Alli Hi T!
Yes — happy as a lark!
“Perform your philosophy” — love it, thank you. In the past I may have not realized what this philosophy was at its core. But I know now.
Have a GREAT day and weekend my friend.
Alli

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