I have done a lot of thinking lately.

By “lately,” I mean for about the past 38 years.

Anyway, I have been thinking.

About big things like what is important. About what I stand for. About what deserves my precious energy. About what I want my life to look like right now and down the road.

Several different and, for me, significant shifts have occurred for me lately. Realizations that have come from a particular situation or person or even a smack in the face (or two…or three).

So for what it is worth, here is what I have learned. Wait….”learned” isn’t accurate. Learn would imply I didn’t know this stuff before. I knew all of it. Just like you, I already have ALL of the answers I need inside of me. But, I ignored or avoided or pretended.

So that brings me to #1:

1. Seeking outside ultimately brings me back to what’s inside. Looking what other people are doing or thinking or launching or earning or saying or tweeting takes up a lot of time. Sometimes my time. Maybe your time, too.

Sometimes,  it is important and valuable to know and see what else is out there. But other times — most of the time — this seeking, checking, monitoring and emulating is a colossal waste of time. It’s a form of mental you-know-what. It doesn’t serve — at least not me.

2. Break the mold…or at least get out of the mold. Yes, there is nothing new under the sun. Yes, re-inventing the wheel sounds ridiculously tedious. And also yes, following and modeling what works can make sense. But what I am seeing, at least in my world of Internet marketing, social media and all things online, is a total Copycat Mentality.

What might have once worked (and likely still does in certain instances) is not a one-size-fits-all solution. So what has happened is that certain models (e.g., the information product launch and all of the “things” around it) are getting (or have gotten) old, tired, done and as far from fresh or even effective as can be.

The “everyone-else-is-doing-it-so-I-should-too” approach is, in its weird way, comfortable because, well, everyone else is doing it. But if (or when) it doesn’t work, we blame ourselves. And if it does work, well, that’s because that’s what it is supposed to do, right?

Meanwhile, success or not, this Copycat Mentality keeps us out of our own uniqueness and in everyone else’s.

3. See the freakin’ forest for the trees. OK. This one is big for me. It is about perspective.

I tend to get caught up, bogged down and generally mired down in the details. In little things. In the tiniest dot of what is really a massive pointilist masterpiece.

I wrote about my lack of (and subsequent finding of) perspective last week with my decision to cancel my trip to SXSW. And that got me thinking (imagine that) about how much bigger I really want to be thinking in all areas of my life.

This small sh*t isn’t for me. There, I said it.

Here is what I found when I really looked at the Big Picture of my business and my purpose:

• I am wasting a lot of time in the wrong places.
• I am not casting a wide-enough net.
• I use the being a good friend, or being a marketing expert, or always helping someone who asks for it or even fixing what’s broken in everyone else excuses to avoid doing what I have to do for myself, my business, my stuff — right here, right now.
• I play small (while talking big) to avoid getting hurt, roughed up, criticized, messed up or wronged. (By the way, guess what? I get ALL of those things while playing small too. So that approach? Yea, not so much.)

My forest is freakin’ huge. But I have been playing far too long in a tiny 5′ x 5′ area with nothing but a shrub and a patch of dirt.

And don’t get me wrong: I have done amazing, awesome, great things in that small square space.

But I am cheating myself and lots of others by choosing to stay there or hiding there.

I am cheating myself by following others’ “methods” and “systems” and losing sight of my own (and forgetting, conveniently, the fact that I can be — am — epic without a freakin’ formula!).

I am lying to myself by allowing myself to believe (superficially — because deep down I am all-knowing) that any problems, issues, challenges or stumbling blocks are due to a fault in the “system” not to a block or fault with, yes, ME.

I am playing small by thinking all of my ideas, inspiration, direction and support can and should come from one place, or one person, or one source or one “way.”

So…..I am vowing (to myself) to expand the little patch I’ve been squatting on. Because I am getting a cramp in my leg from being all squinched-up there. And I can’t think or move further with that pesky cramp.

I am vowing to trust in myself. To understand that what works for someone else isn’t always what will work for me. That I can screw up spectacularly and still wake up to drink my tea and eat my eggs and annoy my kids tomorrow morning.

If fire must be involved, I vow to aim for blazing but expect some blowing up. And, finally, I vow to carry on even with the leg cramp and the potential burns and the egg on my face and all of the inner and outer signs that can come only from playing big for real.

No, silly, SXSW (“South by Southwest”) is not cancelled.

Just my SXSW is cancelled.

After much (probably too much) soul-searching, I decided not to join in on the mayhem, the fun, the awesomeness and the good times sure to ensue down in Austin this weekend and beyond.

[Note: This blog post is all about what my friend Joel Kodner would call a "first-world problem." It's a non-deal that someone who has everything (i.e., me) made into a big deal. Does it matter in the scheme of the world order? No. Does it compare with anything tragic or even significant out in the world today? No. Is it important to me? Yea, it was. Until I made my decision. And now I am just writing this so that in response to all of the awesome people who tweet and text me this weekend "Where are you?" or "Why didn't you come to SXSW?" I can simply give them this link instead of explaining the same non-stuff over and over. And trying to do it in 140 characters or less. Capiche?]

Ok so here is the deal/story:

A bunch of my friends — both those with whom I have already shared real-life adventures as well as those I look forward to meeting IRL (in real life) — were/are set to attend SXSW  in Austin, Texas. (If you don’t know what this event is, read about it here. I am so not your Cruise Director Julie McCoy on this one ).

I had decided up front that I would not attend. Too much traveling. Contrary to what you may have seen of my many awesome adventures of late, I actually do not like to travel. But what has happened is that traveling is the way I see my friends (too many of whom live too far) and have my fun. I am not someone who needs to go out or travel all the time. I love being home. I feel great at home. And I love being alone, too.

So initially I decided Austin wasn’t in the cards and didn’t consider it much. Even though I knew that “everyone” would be there. I was never someone who had to be where “everyone” was.

But then one day maybe six weeks ago (could be off by a few weeks),  I was on the semi-famous Daily Confessional skype chat with my girls Elizabeth and Sarah. The topic of Austin and SXSW came up and in that moment I really, really wanted to be there with them. I didn’t care about the event or the partying. (I don’t really drink — I’m more of an eater….which I can do in the comfort and privacy of my own home….but that’s a whole other story.)

I am so not an impulsive person. But sometimes I act on what I feel in the moment and trust that it will all come out OK. Or not.

So I decided in the thick of the Daily Confessional to book a flight. Sarah already had a room (all to herself at that point) so I was set. I didn’t even by a pass to any events — I was going for the people, not for the organized events in a convention center or elsewhere.

I recently told my friend Alisha that I don’t go out much, that I am really a homebody who just, every three or so months, travels somewhere to meet up with my friends. So I was excited. To see them and others. To meet some amazing people with whom I have already, though not face-to-face, connected profoundly.

I didn’t think much of it since then. Even with all of the tweets and other “I am so excited for SXSW” messages flying back and forth constantly. I was excited, but not in any way invested (if that makes any sense). It just was.

Then earlier this week, I had some realizations. Unrelated to all of this, but I guess, actually, totally related, to all of this.

I realized that I need to do more for myself. Yes, myself. ME. I need to put myself first sometimes and stop doing what I think other people want or what I think will make me a SuperMom or SuperFriend or SuperHuman. I needed to stop being totally accessible to everyone in my world all the time and be more accessible to myself. Which means I need to be more quiet. And more still. And more aware of how I feel. And say NO when NO is the right answer. And just BE.

Once I had these realizations, after some uncomfortable conversations and big-and-also-uncomfortable realizations about how I am with people in my life, I began to see that SXSW wasn’t something I felt like doing right now. Packing, making arrangements for my dog, getting on a plane, losing two weekdays, sleeping in a hotel and living on Starbucks just didn’t feel good to me right now. It didn’t feel like putting me first.

Once I make a decision, I am generally set on that decision. And I don’t waffle. I don’t like the drama of waffling. I like certainty. But with this one, I just couldn’t decide. I went back and forth all week. And I was annoying myself (and probably others) with the whole thing.

I was concerned about losing $800-ish (turns out I can get a credit on Southwest for the airfare and it seems like someone else is taking the spot I paid for in the hotel room).

I wondered what kind of person that made me if I chose “regular life” over the fun and good times and good friends all in Austin. (For the record, my “regular life” rules. And if it didn’t, I would have some serious issues and some serious change to make.)

I wondered if I was missing out on a professional opportunity that may have come my way in Austin. (Like the guy waiting there, ready to offer me $300K/year to just sit and write and go speak once/month. Yea, him. Dude, if you are reading this, just call me!)

And then yesterday, I just knew. I need to spend this weekend semi-off-the-grid just being quiet and getting what I need. What I need right now, this weekend, is here. It isn’t there. And never being one of those people to have that “I am missing out on all the fun stuff” feeling, I will be OK missing all the fun stuff.

There is way more fun stuff to be had for me and for everyone. And at the end of the day, this event (or any others) really isn’t very important for me AT ALL in the scheme of things. (I have a knack for making the unimportant important. Another blog post.)

So YAY for me – for seeing my bigger picture and not getting caught up in a moment that in this moment doesn’t work for me.

So that is why I cancelled SXSW. It’s my story. Mine alone.

P.S. Thank you, again, to the always-great, sometimes-offensive, not-for-everyone Joel Kodner who asked me “What is SXSW?” when I texted him this morning about this blog post. Perspective, baby. Perspective.

What started out as a rant on Kelly Ripa ended as a love letter to my fellow Moms and to all women.

Read it here.

xoxoxo

…Is that it can be easier said than done.

I think a lot about letting go.

And then I think of what I would like to let go of:

Of mistakes I have made.

Of ways I have screwed up.

Of bad decisions I’ve made or acted on.

Of people I have let in who abused the privilege.

Of people who lied to me.

Of allowing myself to be spoken to a certain way, treated a certain way, even brainwashed a certain way.

Of people whom I feel owe me — time, money, appreciation, an apology.

Of things I’ve spent time on that sapped me, that eluded me, that didn’t in any way serve me.

Of being taken advantage of.

Of the need to rush, rush, rush so I can accomplish, accomplish, accomplish.

Of anger, and shame, and general pissed-off-ed-ness.

And the more I think about all these yucky things, the more I think about them.

And the more I think about them, by definition, the less I let them go.

And the less I let them go, the more they stay with me.

And not in the good way.

One one hand, I really want to let go. I know how good forgiveness — real forgiveness — of myself and of others feels. I have experienced it through my own divorce just last year — true forgiveness means that my Ex and I can truly be friends and, most importantly, good parents.

Letting go is the best (and maybe the only) way to true freedom.

But there are other things, other people, that I hang on to. (Funny, they weren’t even that important to me before the not-letting-go part set in.)

And while hanging on can stink, I am grateful for ALL of it. Even — and especially — the bad sh*t. Because that’s where I have learned and grown and, ultimately, shined.

And the good stuff — ah, the good stuff. My life is FULL of the good stuff. I have the most amazing kids and family, a great Ex husband (see supra), the best sister in the world, amazing friends, a beautiful place to live, a comfy bed to sleep in, a car that takes me wherever I need to go and gifts that I’m still learning how to share with the world.

And freedom. I have beautiful, sweet, delicious freedom in so many ways. I have love. And I can sleep at night knowing I am, at my core, a very, very good person.

So I have to wonder, what good does holding on do me?

How does ruminating and not letting go serve me? Because something somewhere must be serving me or otherwise I would have just kicked it to the curb, no?

Perhaps it is some sort of self-sabotaging measure: The more I focus on the B.S., the less capacity and energy I have for the real stuff. The great, world-changing stuff. The more I focus on what he did to me or she said to me, the less I can focus on what’s next for me and those I will serve.

So maybe it is a fear thing: The ruminating, the not-letting-go — it all sucks, but it is familiar. The old hurts — I know them well. I know what to expect from them, and they never let me down. They deliver — just not in a way that has anything to do with me letting go of them.

Still, I move forward. I am never, ever stuck in the past and the word “regret” is not one that I allow myself to use. Me at 75% is like other people at 110% — more than enough…though not at full-throttle.

And, yes, you guessed it: A full-throttle life is where I want to be. At all times. It’s what I want to live. What I must live. And a full-throttle life requires clean fuel and a path unlittered with stuff that must be left in the dust.

I know I’m not alone. I am sure you have “stuff” you haven’t yet let go of, either. And, like me, you may also beat yourself up about it.

But we’re all human. Messy, imperfect, mistake-making, ever-evolving humans. For me, just getting this out of my head and into this space will, I am certain, allow me to keep moving forward in a way that does serve me.

It will allow me to feel compassion — not anger — for those who wronged me and whose lives do not reflect the goodness and honor I hope that my life reflects. And, ultimately, hopefully sooner rather than later, I hope that compassion will also spill over onto myself. Because I don’t need to do karma’s job on anyone else or try to figure out someone else’s journey.

My job is to take the lessons and move on. I’m workin’ on it.

Peace.

Check out my latest blog on CurrentMom…

Coming Out Of The Closet: My Name Is Allison And I Work From Home

I spent years having lots of disdain for exclamation points and the people who used them.

No joke — I put lots of time and energy into being annoyed by exclamation points.

As a “real” writer, I felt that my my words had a responsibility and that the addition of the !!!! simply meant that the words were weak and needed that extra “boost.”

And if someone needed to use that extra boost, then their words or their writing, well, they were just not that strong or important…or so I would think. I would even tell the writers I hired that they were next-to-forbidden to use exclamation marks.

Whether or not the !! represented sub-par writing, I think my strong feelings were really masking something else.

And that “something else” (actually “something elses” in plural) was:

My fear of being bold.

My fear of declaring something on paper/in writing potentially for all to see.

My fear of exposing how I really felt inside.

My fear of venturing into the unknown.

My fear of giving up control (or the illusion of it).

My fear of being stuck forever.

My strength.

My power.

My truth

My voice.

Yea….those “minor” things. No biggie, right? Just the whole friggin’ essence of who I was/am/will be.

Is it too much to say that a totally innocent punctuation mark represented all of this for me?

Not really.

Keeping it in was a big part of who I was (or who I acted like). So using too many !!!!!! was way too bold and showy for that girl.

And bold and showy…well, those were ways I wasn’t “supposed” to be.

Supposed to.

Not supposed to.

Should have.

Should be.

Should not have.

Should not be.

Yea, whatever.

That stuff is really tiring.

Like Cat Stevens says, “If you want to sing out, sing out. And if you want to be free, be free.”

Just do it.

Use exclamation points.

Bold it all.

Make it 16-point type.

Red, green, whatever.

I really don’t care. Just make sure it’s what you really want. And that it makes you happy. And that it is, at its core, really you.

Wanna know how I figured all this out….finally?

It was in July, in Cape Cod, in a cute little gift store.

The greeting card was staring me right in the face.

It was a cartoony drawing of a woman, arms outstretched, with long flowing hair, face tilted up and mouth wide open as if declaring something to all who will listen.

And on the card it said:

She spoke in exclamations

now that she found her voice.

Yes, she had found her voice.

And now this card sits in a hot pink frame right on my nighttable, next to my bed, where I look at it every morning and every evening.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Join me (@AllisonNazarian) and my BFF/Partner-in-Crime @ElizabethPW for our weekly twitter chat “Epic Adventures in Everyday Life” (#epicchat) on Wednesdays at 5:00 PM Pac / 8:00 PM East.

EPW (closer-to-the-edge girl) and Alli (closer-to-home girl) will explore:

• How life doesn’t stop when you become a mom … it begins.
• Why you need (at least) a bit of crazy and adventure in your life, even if you are not a risk-taker or adrenaline junkie.
• How you don’t need to travel to India or jump out of a plane to transform your life.
• How to marry the idea of crazy & fun & freedom into real, practical, day- to-day life.
• Why it’s hard to bring adventure into your life in a vacuum, and how real and powerful friendships are your “key ingredient” for making life itself an adventure.
• How to run your career/business, have a real life, go on adventures, and be a great mom … all at the same time … without being frozen by guilt or overwhelm.

Each week we will choose a different topic & invite special guests to share their awesometastic ideas & inspirational stories with you.

Sign up below to RSVP for the chat & make sure you don’t miss out on upcoming chat topics & special guests!

I don’t know about you, but when I started out in my own business (or even before that when I started in my first string of jobs after college), I knew very little.

Scratch that….I knew next to nothing.

Worse, I thought I was super-smart and knew all I ever needed to know.

So it took years for it even to occur to me that I didn’t know much and even more years to learn how to find, seek out and actually ask for (and/or pay for) the help I needed. (Gosh, that whole years and years thing makes me sound really old.)

When I started my own business in 2001 (after being laid off from what I thought was the best job I would ever have), I figured that I had all I needed to be wildly successful.

My ingredient list for a successful Copywriting Business was something like this:

• Know how to write….check
• I’ve earned money at some point in my life for writing….check
• Have desk…check
• Have phone….check
• Know something about the Internet….check (this was 2001)

Ok…I was good to go!

Except…well…I wasn’t good to go.

Unfortunately….yea, you guessed it….while I had the “copywriting” part down somewhat, the whole “business”  part was still uncharted territory.

I’d never written a proposal or an agreement.

I’d never collected actual money myself for what I did (I’d collected a paycheck until that point).

I had no idea how to put a price tag or money amount on my time or services.

Business development? I really didn’t even know what that term meant.

And, of course, as a writer, I’d learned and told myself that I “wasn’t very good at sales.”

So I started to learn. Usually the hard way. And by “hard way,” I mean I got you-know-what over more times than I care to remember.

I made lots of mistakes.

Sometimes, I made the same mistake more than once.

Other times, I got lucky and figured stuff out sooner than later.

And pretty much every single time, I wished that I had someone who had already learned what I needed to know whom I could turn to and who could honestly, clearly and effectively tell me how to do stuff — and how not to do stuff.

I never found that person. Not back then. Today, I have some awesome mentors and peers who have answers to my every question. But back then….the pickings seemed slim.

So without really realizing what I was doing, as I built my sort-of business into a real business, I also began collecting information and building a case for what would become, I now know, my RealCopywritingBusiness program.

• Forms, templates, agreements, checklists, articles — every thing I wrote, revised, tweaked and sometimes kind-of slaved over over the years, it all now makes sense.
• All the times I detected a “red flag client,” or had to set a boundary and say “no” or explain my company payment policy (only after actually having one) — now I can pass that on.
• All of the tips, techniques, advice and, yes, expertise I’ve gained/learned/absorbed on everything from how to build a team to how to deliver a final copy document to where the best referral sources are to what books are “musts” for my shelf — why would I ever want to or need to keep that all for myself?
• And as I build a community of great copywriters who are also real business owners, I will, selfishly of course, have amazing referral opportunities as I send people seeking copywriters to those copywriters whom I know to be the best in the business.

Earlier today (Saturday is a big thinking day for me!), this title came to me.

Then, later, I figured out what it actually meant.

And here is the point, simply:

We make stuff complicated. Way more complicated than it needs to be. And we get caught up in the complicatedness of it all, so much so, that the obvious often escapes us. Then in the best of situations, we realize or see or discover that the obvious was there all along.

Let me give you a recent example:

I have a safety deposit box at a bank.

What do I keep in there? Mostly passports (my kids’ and my own), something related to the title of my house (no idea what it really is, to be honest) and hundreds of negatives. You know….negatives…..those things that used to come with pictures back when pictures were developed from film? I was afraid of losing photos so I kept the negatives in a safety deposit box. Go figure…

So I have the box. And I wanted to pay it a visit to get my soon-to-expire passport.

I always kept the two keys in the same place. (Why I kept the two together makes no sense. Supposed to keep them separate.)

I’m sure you can figure out the story:

Went to the usual place. No keys. Nowhere.

Didn’t panic or even comb every place. Mostly because I didn’t even know where to look. Plus, I had to ask my twitter peeps who the patron saint for lost things is. (My buddies @gopalo, @vicequeenmaria and others told this nice Jewish girl that St. Anthony was my man.)

So I had a mental heart-to-heart with St. Anthony. I coached myself to just detach and let them find themselves or find me. I practiced knowing in my gut I would find the keys. I went to the bank to ask what my options were. (Found out that for $150, they would drill it open. Not cheap or ideal, but at least I had a Plan B.)

I tried not to ruminate.

But I did wonder where on earth the keys could be. Maybe this, or maybe that.

And while I am on the topic, what happens to the box and the keys if I die?

Oy….the thinking can kill a person.

So last week, I decided to just bite the bullet and do the drilling. On a Friday afternoon, I filled in my calendar for Monday and included a call or visit to the bank.

Ok, done.

For the rest of that afternoon, I did some much-needed and long-overdue organizing and shredding and cleaning in my office.

I opened my file cabinet to file away some papers. As my eyes rested on a row of files, the very first label I saw, plain as day, was this one:

S.D. Box/Name Of Bank

And even before I reached into it, I knew. There were my keys. In the file folder I had created and nicely labeled exactly for this purpose. To house my keys. In a file folder. In my file cabinet. RIght there.

So organized I fooled even myself.

So sensible I forgot.

And so obvious I never even figured it out.

What is the moral of my story? Not sure, but what I’m thinking is that simple and obvious are pretty freakin’ cool. And complicated is, well, just complicated.

And why is complicated my “go-to?” I don’t know.

But I do know I don’t really want that for myself. So I am going to make a real effort to look for the file folder before praying to any patron saints or paying $150 drill fees next time.

Just as folder trumps saint and drilling every time, so too does simple trump just about everything just about every time.

And that, my friends, ends my simple but true tale.

Full disclosure (and it’s really no secret): I used to not like people very much.

For real.

Most of the people I have met in the past year or so can’t believe this.

They see me on twitter and Facebook and “out there” finding my voice and having epic adventures in everyday life. They see me happy and laughing and friendly and outgoing. And when I tell them I was a semi-friendly introvert, they just don’t believe it. (Notice my twitter bio: “wanna-be extrovert” — it’s the truth).

So part of the amazingness of my journey of late has been twofold:

1) Discovering that I indeed love, adore and connect profoundly with people

and, as direct result,

2) Meeting, exploring, becoming friends with and coming to love some of the most phenomenal people on the planet

So as part of the new people-loving introvert-who-can-roll-in-a-world-of-extroverts plan, I recently decided that I need to “mix up” my work day. Specifically, I am no longer allowed (by me) to work all of the time in my home office, alone and holed up in my cave.

Don’t get me wrong: I love my home office. It is an awesome space that, even more than my bedroom, soothes and fulfills me. And for many years, about eight or nine at this point, I have worked mostly alone and mostly in that office.

It has always worked well for me and I have always enjoyed the aloneness and the quiet (and by “quiet,” I mean when my kids are at school or otherwise not home).

But recently, as I have realized that being all alone all of the time is not necessarily the way I want to live or work, I have made some efforts to work elsewhere. In places where I can get work done while still seeing other people, new faces and just life beyond my four walls and my computer. Bonus: No one in Starbucks whines at me or calls me “Mommy.”

(Besides, my now-infamous “Daily Confessional” Skype conversations with Sarah Robinson and Elizabeth Potts Weinstein are as mobile as I need them to be. Like the US Postal Service, they happen regardless of day, location, mood or workload.)

Over the past two or so months, I have tried out a few Starbucks in the area. And for the most part, I have enjoyed the noise (I use my iPod when it is particularly loud or when folks at a nearby table are not using their “indoor voices”) and the energy of those environments.

Once I figured out the Starbucks I liked the best, I started going to that one the most. And, like many people, I preferred to sit each time at the same table, in the same chair. It is one of those standard wooden table/chair combos I would imagine can be found in many Starbucks — probably yours, too.

So I sat there each time.

“My” chair gave me a good combination of space, outlets all to myself (Elizabeth, you know how important proper outlet coverage is no matter where we go!), view of the door and privacy.

And it was a sensible chair. It wasn’t as cute or inviting as the plush comfy purple chairs in the corner, but it was good for my back and my alignment when on the computer.

Practical and simple…..yes, it was my spot.

I’m nothing if not a creature of habit. So now instead of a private cave in my home office, I had a public cave in Starbucks.

Fast forward to last week, I agreed to meet my friend Michael to work at Starbucks, together but in silence (yea, right). Michael is like a little brother to me, and we always have a great time together. We’d wanted to “work together” for some time.

I saved him the second seat at my usual spot.

When he came in, he put his stuff down but instead of sitting down he immediately scanned the room.

I knew what he was looking for.

And I started to sweat.

He wanted to find an empty comfy chair. He wanted the comfy purple velvet chair in the sunny corner in front.

The one where all the action seemed to be.

The one that looked cute but wasn’t good for my back and was unknown and changed the whole Starbucks game for me.

The one that for whatever reason made me nervous because it wasn’t “my spot.”

Lucky for me (I thought), only one of the two purple velvet comfy chairs was open, so I encouraged Michael to go get it.

“I’ll come over when the other is empty,” I promised him, silently hoping its inhabitant was an all-day-at-Starbucks kind of guy.

Of course….wouldn’t you know it…The Universe (or at least The God of Comfy Chairs) had something else in mind for me. Within .24 seconds, Michael had befriended the nice man in Comfy Chair #2 and they’d worked out a deal that entailed Nice Man and Myself switching seats. And I think Michael may have also thrown in some computer/Internet training for Nice Man, just to sweeten the deal.

So I had to pick myself up, pick up my laptop bag, my purse (it’s huge, as you can imagine), unplug everything, my water, my latte, my banana, other various snacks (I was planning to be there for the whole day and no responsible mother leaves home without proper snack coverage), my BlackBerry, my iPod and various pens and spiral notebooks and walk a full 20 feet across Starbucks to Unknown Territory.

To the inviting but not practical and utterly unknown purple velvet comfy chair.

I gave it a shot. I got settled. Unloaded all my stuff. Lined up my cups, bottles and snacks along the window sill. Decided to make a real go of it. I owed that to Michael, right?

And it was fine. Quiet. Uneventful. I worked and got stuff done. Sure, my back hurt and I couldn’t figure out if cool Comfy Chair People should have their computers on their lap while sitting in the chair or on the small, cute and, of course, totally impractical little round table in front of the chair.

Eventually, Michael left. I decided to stay longer. People, maybe three in total, came and went from the other chair. I soldiered on. I could have returned to My Chair, but I didn’t. Now I was in it for the long haul. Or at least for the rest of the day.

And about an hour before I left for the day, someone new sat down in the chair. Unlike what happened with the others, he and I ended up talking for quite some time. Turns out he needed someone to help with copy on his website.

But way beyond potentially doing work together, he was also going through some things in life that he opened up about and we discussed. We had a deep and connected conversation that was very real and unexpected.

We became….yes, you guessed it: Friends.

I made a friend.

Out of my comfort zone in so many ways (wrong chair, surrounded by people, talking personally to “strangers” — the whole nine yards!) and yet….comfortable. Me. New surroundings, new voice, but still totally Me.

And my friend — while he is a little more adventurous than I am, the really funny thing is that he also rarely sits in the comfy chairs. (Or, so he told me.) Regardless, I would never have met New Comfy Chair Friend if I hadn’t moved over to and stayed in the purple velvet comfy chair in the corner.

Who knows….maybe next week I will put Equal instead of Splenda in my Grande Nonfat Latte?

You never know…stranger things have happened. Even….well….especially to me.