Note: I wrote this piece in July as a column for an online business publication. They told me it was “too negative” and chose not to publish it. I decided to publish it here because 1) It is good, both the writing and the advice 2) The idea of knowing when to walk away/move on is important in business, as it is in all areas of life — and this is a discussion I would like to open up here and 3) This situation allowed me to see that I don’t need “approval” from anyone for anything I say, think or write. Someone else’s “too negative” is my “I refuse to sweep this under the rug” topic. Sadly, there are too few large-scale outlets for REAL talk on business or life for that matter.

I’m not much of a poker player, but I do understand enough about strategy to know that winning is not just about how you play the cards themselves, but also about how, when or if you “fold ‘em” and call it a day.

The same could be said for entrepreneurs and this game of business: We’re determined. We’re dedicated. We’re focused.  Sure, these are all good and necessary traits for the entrepreneurial world. Yet, we’re so often tied to the “never give up” and “keep going at any cost” approaches that we can lose sight of why we are doing what we are still doing in the first place.

How do we know when enough is enough, when it is time to change or adjust course or, in some cases, to stop what we are doing altogether?

Fun. Perhaps you started your business based on something you were really good at or something that was a ton of fun. You loved the early days of your product(s) or service(s) but – let’s face it – it’s just not that much fun anymore. What’s more, you dread many or even most aspects of the business these days. How long can that last? And even if things can go on indefinitely this way, is this really how you, a freedom-seeking entrepreneur, want to live your business life?

Money. Profits. Income. Revenue. Remember money? It’s one of the crucial things that makes a business a business. It’s what separates a fun hobby or skill from a fun and profitable hobby or skill. At some point in the life of almost any business, there comes a time when “what we’ve always done” is no longer financially viable. If the only reason you are still doing something (such as selling a specific product, or offering a particular service, or pricing yourself far too low) is “I forgot to change it,” then chances are it’s time to adjust your focus and look to a more profitable path.

Time. For entrepreneurs, time can be a strange thing. Whereas working for someone else from 9-to-5 can seem like a Life Sentence each day, working for ourselves 12 or 16 (or more) hours in a day can seem like a blessing and a breeze…until it doesn’t. When all of your waking hours are being spent on your business, and you don’t have the money or the enjoyment or the non-business life you used to have…well, then, maybe it is time to change your course toward one with more (yes, I am going to say it here…) balance.

Bandwagon. Maybe you jumped into something within your existing business or even within the framework of a brand-new business because, well, everyone else was doing it. It seemed like a great idea at the time. But now that the dust has settled, it’s clear that this wasn’t exactly a perfect match. Instead of throwing more irretrievable time and money at the problem, consider swallowing your pride and doing the smart thing. Acknowledge where you went wrong, learn from your missteps, focus on what does work and move on.

Progress. Maybe there is a better or easier way of selling what you sell…and you aren’t offering it. Maybe out of habit or emotions you are tied to the traditional or “old school” way of doing what you do – but your bottom line no longer reflects that good-old way of doing things. It can be hard to admit that a new way could possibly be a smarter way – but this admission could potentially lead to some of the best business decisions you’ll make. In this case, objectivity is your friend; look at the situation for the business scenario that it is and make your next moves based on facts — not outdated emotions.

YOU. There are as many business scenarios as there are businesses. Across the board, however, there are several constants…and one is change. Recognizing when to change, when to detour and even when to stop altogether take courage, honesty, foresight and plain-old gumption.  This kind of recognizing also takes a crucial ingredient that cannot be substituted or replaced: You. Sometimes, you are the only one who can know and act upon the need to change course or stop the ride altogether. It’s not always easy, but your business (and the rest of your life!) will thank you for it later.

I decided to write this blog post earlier this month. Actually, I didn’t “decide.”  I “knew.”

And ever since I “knew,” I have come up with plenty of delays, excuses and reasons why it wasn’t exactly the right time to write it.

Then I finally wrote it last week but didn’t post it.

I tweeted about it but sat on it and did nothing:

allisonnazarian I just wrote a blog post that is 8 years in the making. I’m letting it marinate overnight bc it scares me that much. Oy. 7 days ago from UberTwitter

People were psyched for me.

But I didn’t post it.

I chickened out. And it was written. Like six-pages-in-a-Word-document written.

But I had excuses.

Yes…..excuses.

I showed the document to a few friends. My usual suspects. Most said “Go for it!” One, who looks out for me in a way only rivaled by my dearly departed grandmother, told me it could be “career suicide.” And he could be right. And I love him regardless. (You know who you are, JH.)

But, alas, the excuses stuff is for someone else or for a life I used to have…and you know my thoughts on truth and transparency…all of which is really kind of inconvenient when what you’d rather do is pretend.

So…. I have a story for you. Or an admission. Or multiple admissions. This may take a while.

I guess the story starts in 2001. That’s when I officially started my business Get It In Writing. I spent a few years trying to figure out what my business was and what business in general was.

And at some point, like any entrepreneur who starts to figure things out, I began to run my business like a business.

And over time, I got really good. Good at what I was doing (copywriting/marketing) and good at running a business — from learning how to say no and how to network and how to treat clients and manage expenses and what bookkeeper to hire….and so on.

And I loved what I did. On every imaginable level.

I laughed when people told me I worked “too much.” But I loved it! How could it be too much? And I got to help people make their businesses more successful. And that’s how I was able to make some small difference in the lives of others….right?

Fast forward a few years….

I had a business. A real business! And I made money. Real money! Like the six figures SO many people out there (especially in the Internet Marketing world) claim to make.

And this business was all mine. It wasn’t my parents’, or my then-husband’s or a boss’s. It was mine. I had built it from nothing. And every client who worked with me was there for me. And every connection I made was made on my name.

For me, those things were very, very important. And they still are. And did I mention I was good at what I did? Real good.

Then at the end of last year and the beginning of this year, I made some decisions in my life that rocked my foundation to its core (all good).

And when everything changes, at least when it does for me, I can’t go back. I can’t do what I did before everything changed.

So as all of this was going on, I attempted to keep my “business as usual” hat on in business. And I had built up enough know-how and goodwill to keep it going at a step or two above “business as usual.”

And for many people, “business as usual” would likely be more than enough.

But for better or for worse, I am not “many people,” so a step or two above business as usual wasn’t cutting it for me.

And I knew it.

But I didn’t do much about it.

Because what could I really do?

I knew I would “get to it,” but I had other stuff going on.

So I ignored.

But then came Vegas.

In June, I went to Vegas for my birthday with my dear friend Amy Holding.  Our trip coincided with a “Monster Tweetup” sponsored by another friend, Scott Stratten.

The night before the Tweetup (basically a get-together/networking event/party attended mostly by people who connected with one another initially through twitter), Scott was kind enough to gather together 15 or so of his friends for a private dinner. (That dinner on its own deserves a separate blog post. Or even a book. IT CHANGED LIVES.)

At this dinner, I was lucky (no coincidences) to sit next to an amazing woman by the name of Kim Castle.

Kim and I chatted, and while I don’t remember everything we discussed (I do remember she was suffering from a raging headache), I recall and still feel her amazing positive energy and true openness.

When we got around to the “what do you do” part of the question, I told her I was a copywriter.

In a “ho-hum” kind of way.

And that must have seemed weird because I am SO not a “ho-hum” kind of chick.

She looked me right in the eye and told me (not a direct quote), “It doesn’t sound like that’s what you really want to do. You don’t sound happy about it.”

Wow…I felt like someone had slapped me in the face.

Not because she was out of line or wrong.

In fact, she was the first to finally articulate what I had been too afraid to admit (or even to see) for the past few months. And this was someone who had met me an hour or two before, no less.

Yikes. This was like the last thing I wanted to face or think about. I was in Vegas! I was there to have fun. It was my birthday. I was newly single. Life was new and open and exciting for me.

The very thought that the very thing (my business) that had been such a positive constant in my life could now be something that was no longer right for me was something I literally, in that weekend, could not wrap my mind around.

So I shelved it.

Because really what else could I do?

I wasn’t ready.

And how many life-changing, cliff-jumping decisions can one girl make at the same time?!

So since June, I’ve literally been “business as usual” in my business.

Except I knew something had to give.

I just didn’t know what.

Because I am SO proud of my business. And SO grateful for it. It isn’t a job or a paycheck. It is an extension of me (entrepreneurs and self-employed people, you know what I mean).

It empowered me and, in a way, bought me my freedom so I could never kick it to the curb.

So I have been dabbling.

Dabbling in the things I actually love to do. Like writing this blog and for other blogs. That’s the stuff that moves me. Baring my soul. Like connecting with very real and very amazing people who email and direct message and tweet me that I have “spoken” to them.

And I escape into the bliss that is writing in my real voice.

And then I have to return to my “real” work. Because that’s what pays me.

All the while knowing I can’t really dabble in something I love and focus most of your energy on something I like and then call that being real.

Because dabbling is great for pottery or needlepoint. But it sure as sh*t ain’t an approach to living.  Not my life.

And once I admitted this to myself, I felt equal parts of relief and dread.

Relief because pretending sucks, even if the pretending is only to yourself.

Relief because I knew I was freeing myself up for what I really wanted.

Relief because if I didn’t create space for what I needed, then I would get swallowed up by the dabbling.

And dread….well dread because I knew what was coming.

Dread because whenever I realize stuff, I have to go big.

Dread because going big can be a real pain in the butt.

Dread because I have this burning need to tell everyone and his/her mother what my big Aha! was and what I’m-a-gonna-do about it.

Dread because if you aren’t living your truth you are, to some extent, a fraud. (Sorry for the harsh word, I’m just the messenger….)

Dread because I knew I couldn’t be a fraud for one more minute.

And dread because I knew I was going to jump off yet another cliff. And in this case, that cliff would be the cliff called: “Giving up, turning away and saying ‘NO’ to the only work that is currently paying you so that you can make room for the work you really want and love even if that work isn’t currently paying you a dime.” (You may want to re-read that one.)

Fast forward to this week when I blurted out to my coach Monikah Ogando that I could not live congruently with who I am if I continue to take on work that I don’t love and live for only because it pays the bills (did I mention I am newly single with no income/financial support beyond my own income? Yea…..).

That I needed to board up that back door for good.

What does that mean literally?

It means that I am going to focus on teaching people how to write their copy through books (check out my brand-new book One Minute Copywriter — it’s really good) and coaching one-on-one and in group settings.

It means that I am no longer going to work as a copywriter-for-hire for clients/businesses looking to outsource their copywriting. In other words, I will not be taking most copywriting jobs that are offered to me. I will pick and choose what I want to work on. (Yes, that is the scary part.) I will be referring all of this work to other copywriters, which is something I definitely enjoy doing!

I will teach people how to write copy for their businesses and, on a more personal level, how to access their own voice and truth to write their stories. I  will also work within a university setting, teaching students much of these business writing and personal writing principles.

It means I am publicly declaring that I want to focus as well on my own writing. On being paid to write for mine or other publications. On a column. On syndicated content. On venues and media through which I can connect with people on a very real level by showing them it’s OK to be real and to stop pretending and stop hiding and start living. Really living. In a flawed and messy and still-perfect way.

I am going to be paid to do that. I don’t know the “how” – I just know that it is on its way to me.

I will write books. Lots of them.

So…to sum up:

I am closing the door on the only thing that has made me money (and good money at that!) over the past eight or so years. I am publicly declaring what I plan to do while having no obvious means of making money from said pursuits at this exact moment. Oh and I have a house and a mortgage and a car and two kids and no second paycheck and….and….and….yea, you get it.

Dabbling sucks. And dabbling is playing small. So I’m playing big. Which can be big scary too. But in the words of my “mad honest” friend Tony: “continuing on our journey and not doing what we’re passionate about or feel is our true calling is, is even worse. It’s a slow meaningless death.”

***Thank you for reading this far. Thank you, as well, to my friends who read this before (and this includes YOU Elizabeth, Tom, Monikah, Jeffrey & Tony) for not laughing in my face (yet). And if even one of you reading this plays a little bigger because of something I said, then THANK YOU too!

Love, Alli

So…I have been doing this thing (and by “this thing” I mean copywriting, running the show, being my own boss, wearing a million hats, etc.) for long enough to  know.

You know….to know.

To spot him or her.

The potential client who represents everything you would prefer to not work with. Ever. Often a super-nice person, and well-meaning, too. But on every other imaginable level, so not the right fit for you. (And that’s putting it nicely…).

I had the prototype for this person approach me through my copywriting website over the weekend. As I generally do, I replied with a few questions right away.

Almost instantly, Joe Client told me the following, in no particular order:

1) We are on a tight deadline. We need this 15-20-page website content written immediately.

2) I need someone on your team to call me first thing Monday morning.

3) We are on a tight budget. Just thought you should know this up front.

4) I have proposals from other copywriting service providers, but I want to work with you.

5) If you can work with my budget, I have many more projects down the line for you.

6) My budget is $X. Your estimate is abotu $2X. How can you make this happen for me? (My answer: You can reduce your site by half the number of pages.)

7) I don’t want to devalue your expertise and services but (love the “but”) I can only pay $X.  Ultimately, I need you to tell me how many pages I need. I can’t take responsibility if the project goes beyond $X.

After a few emails like this back and forth, I decided to listen to my intuition (which had been warning me since Email 1) and cut bait.

“Hi Joe Client,

I am going to pass on this project.

Best of luck to you.

Allison”

It’s all a learning experience….it’s all a learning experience…

Ok, Ms. Wendy Y. Bailey! I’m not usually a good tag-ee, but I promised myself I’d be more open and receptive to these and more revealing about my personal side – and yours was the next that came along. So, you have tagged me and I accept!

So without further ado, here are 10 honest traits about me…

1. I gave birth to my two amazing children, Daniel (now 11) and Maya (now 9) 22 months apart. Both kids were born on Sundays and I worked full-time (prior to being my own boss, I might add) until 5pm the Friday before both births. In addition, my daughter was almost born in the Miami International Airport. As it happened, she was born just one hour after we arrived at the hospital and that was only because it was a Sunday and we had to wait longer than usual for the doctor to arrive. (And did I mention, I was too late for an epidural!? Did you women out there know you could be TOO LATE FOR AN EPIDURAL?! Not fun. Especially when the baby is 8 pounds, 8 ounces.)

2. I am a hard-core NFL (football) fan. I grew up in the suburbs of Washington, DC and spent many, many Sunday afternoons with my dad at the old RFK Stadium rooting my Washington Redskins to victory. While I am a total non-athlete, I am a serious fan. And a fan who never pretended only to meet guys (there are many of these). I gave up TV, for the most part last year and football is pretty much the only thing I still watch.

3. I am a true speed-reader. No special training. Just genetics (get it from my dad) and practice (a voracious reader).

4. I lived in NYC immediately after graduating from college. I lived the dream of my childhood at just 22 years of age. I got it out of my system and will be forever grateful for that magical time. (Now my daughter, who just visited NYC for the very first time, has the bug. She ‘s hooked. In love.) My absolute favorite thing to do during those days? Going to see foreign films, all by myself, completely unknown and undetected.

5. As many of you know, I live in South Flordia. It’s warm/hot and sunny all year-round. We have a pool in our backyard. I have *never* gone swimming in this pool. (My kids and their friends use it all the time.)

6. My sister Erica is my best friend in the world. She is almost 6 years younger than I am.

7. I have two Ivy League degrees — University of Pennsylvania (Penn) and Columbia University.

8. I bite my nails something awful. A life-long bad habit. I also don’t drink or smoke, so I guess this is my “thing.”

9. I lost my mom when she was just 51 years old — four months after my own first child was born. I lost my grandmother just last year at 90+ years old.

10. I am the co-founder of what will soon be the Internet’s #1 destination for working moms: www.WorkingMomLifeline.com. This is my fun place, my non-serious place, my real-talk place.

Now, to tag a few of my friends and ask for your 10 honest traits…be sure to tag your 10 friends:

1. Debbe Taylor, biz partner, friend and fun girl extraordinaiire: http://www.WorkingMomLifeline.com/

2. Amy Holding, VA, right-hand woman, friend and supporter: http://www.PavetoSuccess.com/

3. Michelle Casto, a truly bright light and wonderful soul, RebuildYourVirtualBusiness.com.

4. Sophie Robbins, dog expert, new friend from a previous life, awesome energy: The Dog Dish 

5. Lea Curtes-Swenson My favorite up-and-coming copywriter, always a great attitude, fun, fun, fun: Lea’s blog

6. Kathleen Gage Successful Internet Marketer, great mentor, amazing human being: KathleenGage.com

7. Kristin Bereis Fun, enthusiastic, talented and successful marketing coach. Kristin’s page

8. Paulette Ensign second-to-none tip booklet marketer , a true professional, fun to know: Paulette’s site.

9. Stacy Brice, someone whose energy, humor and observations are always great & someone I would like to get to know better: Stacy’s blog 

10. Yvonne Perry, great author, writer, marketer and always ready to help. Yvonne’s site.

Thank you, again, Wendy Y! And I hope you 10 wonderful people with accept the tag and go with it!

INC Magazine is one of the old-school must-reads for the Entrepreneurial Set. It’s also one of the few publications I still read as a hard copy, as in not on a screen but in my hands and with pages.

I particularly like Norm Brodsky, a phenomenally successful entrepreneur who writes a regular column in INC. In one recent column (Secrets of a $110 Million Man), Brodsky talks about guidelines that the best entrepreneurs follow. These are powerful tips that are both sobering and right-on, but one really upset me.

Here are a few:

• A sale isn’t a sale until you collect.
  Ok, I agree. Simple enough.
  
• Cash is hard to get and easy to spend. Make it before you spend it.
  Again, I got it. (Duh.)
  
• Numbers run a business. If you don’t know how to read them, you are flying blind.
  Yes, very true.
  
• Now here’s the one I am having trouble with: You have no friends in business, only associates.

Many of my best friends are my business friends (and vice versa). And why not?

I’d rather be guilty of being naive in this department than the opposite. Now, I know that business is business and nothing is (or should be) personal in business. But, isn’t this is a bit of a pessimistic or all-or-nothing view?

Then again, clearly Mr. Brodsky is a very successful guy who walks the walk and knows what he is talking about.

Despite that, though, I will continue to blur the line, if and when I want, between friends and associates. People matter, relationships matter and in the end, that’s all we have.

I really REALLY like this saying.

It’s like: Go for it, give it all you have, do it 110% or don’t even bother. As someone who moves way too fast and is way too excited about quickly crossing items off my To Do list, this is something that speaks to me.

SLOW DOWN and DO IT RIGHT…or just forget about it.

What got me thinking about this saying was this recent Robert Kiyosaki article in Entrepreneur . He talks about the businesses that thrive and businesses that fail in economies like this one. The main difference, he says, between living and dying is in the marketing.

Marketing and promoting must always be part of the life of a business — regardless of the inevitable ups and downs of every cycle. He talks about the six-week cycle of promotion. Not sure if the six week thing has been part of my experience, but the Rich Dad/Poor Dad guy clearly knows a lot more about a lot more things than I do, so I will go with it.

Bottom line: Not only do all businesses need to market and promote during the worst of times, but they need to do it especially during the worst of times.

(The only thing that bugs me about the “go big or go home” thing is the “go home” part. To me, going home is a great thing. I love my home and it is my sanctuary in so many ways. Can’t I go big AND go home?! That would be the ultimate reward.)

I read this article in this month’s Inc Magazine.

Basically, a small business woman in North Carolina decided to write about her experiences with what she felt was a one-step-below-a-scam service that offered to create a documentary-like advertorial for her business for some $20+K (a significant amount for a small business, or for anyone for that matter).

Her honesty (from her perspective) and sharing of her experiences in her blog may cost her far more than that — far more. We’re talking in the neighborhood of a $20 million lawsuit by the media company. (By the way, her namei s Leslie Richard and the company, based in North Carolina, is The Oko Box.)

One of the lawyers interviewed for the story explained that “Anything posted on a CEO’s blog — including reader comments — can be construed as carrying the weight of a company’s endorsement” – meaning that the company is liable for comments (from the writer, or from readers for that matter) that could be detrimental to another business.

I am so not getting into the legal aspect here — suffice it to say this story, no matter what the end result or the fine details — worries me greatly. It also illustrates the fine and not yet defined lines between what’s OK and what’s not OK in today’s media.

I’m not sure what this means for all of us — we can’t speak our mind or retell our stories on our terms? (Or, we can and risk a $20 million lawsuit?)

Huh?

How many of you play by the rules? Your own rules, your competitors’ rules, your colleagues’ rules, life’s rules, you know: THE RULES?

If you asked me, I would definitely say I’m one to follow the rules. I’ve always been that person. But you know what? Following the rules isn’t always enough and isn’t always the best course of action.

What about making the rules? Or changing the rules? Or bending the rules? What I am learning as I continue to  grow personally and professionally is that it takes a certain confidence and a strong vision to stop following and to start leading. And when I look back on any time I accomplished something new or different I see that somewhere on that path I made a new rule or did something other than what was expected.

Blazing a new path can be scary at times. And following a predictable and well-worn path feels very comfortable. But you know what? It’s not always the best way to your dreams and your clients’ dreams.

Ask any wildly, fantastically successful person how they got where they are and they will tell you all about how they made their own way, crafted their own rules and set the bar at a whole new height.

All of this goes for your marketing and copywriting as well. As I have said many times before, doing something just because you “should” or “everyone else is doing it” won’t get you the results you seek over the long-term.

So stay honest, stay ‘real” and always stay true to who you as a business are. And while you do all that, be as bold, different and memorable as you can possibly be. And try to also have fun while you’re at it.

Those of you who know me personally know that I, well, struggle with being a better taker of criticism. I’m just not that thick-skinned. Even if it’s meant well, if it’s not personal or if it is incredibly valuable, I still feel that sting, that defensiveness, well up in me.

That’s why this article in Entrepreneur was very motivating for me. In short, here is some of what the very smart Barry Farber has to say about using criticism to your benefit:

1. Question your source. Is the person telling you something someone whose opinion and outlook you respect and value?

2. Mentors. Surround yourself with smart people you trust and whose counsel you will use and benefit from. These will also be the people who help you back up when you are feeling really crappy.

3. Get comfortable being uncomfortable. You won’t get anywhere if you’re lounging 24/7 in your comfort zone.

4. Detach. This is where you move around, breathe, get up, get out and stop obsessing.

Ahhhh….it all sounds so great. Now if I could just live this advice….. 

A couple Fridays ago, I took two hours off and sat in a quiet corner at my local Barnes & Noble.

I grabbed about four books and managed to go through each of them (enough to get what I needed to get) in the course of my stay in that big comfy chair there.

(By the way, there were about three others in my corner who were fast asleep in their chairs. Like full-on-snoring-fast asleep. I envied them their deep slumber, though I also thought it was kind of weird that they were fast asleep in public in a bookstore.)

So anyway, one of the books I grabbed was entitled One Small Step Can Change Your Life: The Kaizen Way by Robery Maurer.

You can read the Wikipedia definition of Kaizen here. Basically, this is a principle or an approach that is all about the small steps. It is a Japanese philosophy that focuses on continuously, as in daily, improving in all areas of one’s life, from the workplace to home and everywhere else. It is meant for everyone, whether a top CEO or a mom (or someone like me who is both!).

We all know that “A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step” and that is really what Kaizen is all about. We’re all (at least I know I am) seeking greatness and, if you subscribe to these principles, the most effective path to this greatness is through the smallest efforts and in small, focused, steady increments.

The Kaizen principle or approach is all about putting energy into small powerful things rather than big, all-over-the-place efforts.

It’s a pretty inspirational, at least for me, approach because I tend to set so many goals for myself that I manage to overwhelm myself and not focus on the most important tasks or steps of any given project or venture.

Instead, I, like so many others, put effort into “the path of least resistance” and end up putting a lot of time and energy into something that may get done on paper, but is less likely to get me further along on the path I am trying to travel.

Really, this can be applied to any aspect of your life. One example in the book is about exercise. We all know exercise is something that needs to be done regularly to achieve any sort of significant or lasting result.

For some, just getting on that treadmill 30 minutes each day is overwhelming. It just may not happen for whatever reason. But what about standing on that treadmill for one minute a day? Doable? Totally!

This is where it starts. I am working toward the goal of a 90% product- and instruction-based business (we can talk about the remaining 10% another time!). I try to take big steps and guess what? Sometimes, I don’t get the “big” results I seek. This book has convinced me to continue thinking big but to change my movements to smaller ones that work.

I’ll let you know how it goes!