Blah Blah Blah Resolutions

by

I suppose I try to live my life as if every day were January 1.

It isn’t easy. And, often, this approach pushes me too much and I have to step back, take a break, remind myself that I am, in fact, human.

I think it’s cool if you have resolutions, and I hope that you stop doing what you want to stop doing and you start doing what you want to start doing. Whatever works works.

These are some of the ways I try to live my life from January 1 through December 31 every year:

Stop waiting for inspiration. Sometimes it comes before you do a thing, and that is awesome. Other times, though, it is more elusive and something needs to move before anything can happen. That kind of action without obvious evidence of payout requires faith and commitment first.Whatever you are waiting to be inspired to do, do it anyway…then see what happens.

Act honorably. I may not like someone or agree with them or understand what they are all about, and all of that is fine. I don’t have to be their best friend or spouse or allow them to hire me as their copywriter if I don’t want to. There are exactly two people, both under the age of 18, for whom I am required by law to provide and care. Beyond that, I am on my own as far as deciding who gets my time, attention, respect and effort. That all said, I work on acting honorably no matter who the person is, what they want or what their connection is to me. In case of a conflict, I try to ask myself, “Did you act as honorably as you could have?” — the truth to that answer can be a sobering one may lead, ultimately, to a better awareness and a tough lesson or two.

Practice letting go. It isn’t enough to know that there are things that should be let go. The actual letting go part is the important part of this equation. And let me tell you, that shizz isn’t always easy! Letting go requires several uncomfortable things that often include forgiveness (of ourselves and/or of another), admission that we do not control everything or even some things and a commitment to keep moving forward. Did I mention that none of those things, on its own, is easy, let alone all three as a trifecta? Yea.

Slow and steady is really your only choice. This has been a tough one for me. There is no one day or time on which everything will change, it will all be different. Instant isn’t a default just because you wish it were so. Small steps lead to that which is longer-lasting and real. That’s not to say that things can’t change in an instant — because they can. But all of that can be hard to remember in our we-want-the-answer/results-right-now world of magic pills.

Apologizing for being me is a crime. I am who I am. On most days, I do a pretty good job. I enjoy the freedom I am afforded to use the “F” word (and its relatives). I listen to Howard Stern. Some Sundays, I do nothing but watch and discuss football from the noon pre-game shows until I fall asleep sometime during the night game, usually around 9 or 10pm. My default is often alone, don’t talk to me, I’m reading. I haven’t been nice to every single person I’ve known or come across in my life. I’ve burned bridges. I’ve put myself in situations in which things like greed or selfishness trumped reason or intuition. (I paid the price on those, trust me.)  I’ve had bad parenting moments. I’ve wished bad things on people and sometmes voiced my not-nice thoughts about them or others. And the list goes on…

What’s important is that I have forgiven myself (or am in the process of doing so) for these and so many other mistakes, missteps and other exercises in being human. What’s important is that I focus, every day, on being a good person and doing, saying and thinking good things, all the while knowing that this won’t always be the case. What isn’t important, really, is what someone else or “they” think of any of this or of me in general. I can only do my very best and that’s where my human abilities stop. Beyond that is an exercise in futility and an all-around waste of time.

Finally, I try to smile more often than not. Sometimes, I smile on my own, alone, to myself. It feels weird, but it is funny, so then I laugh and thus smile more. Life is short, and we don’t even know how short. Not enjoying the ride is a crime, and one I have been guilty of more than once. I take a lot of things too seriously. The funny thing is that pretty much anything is, actually, funny, if you really think about it. Anything. (Don’t forget the Time + Tragedy = Humor equation. Works every time.) So when in doubt, I’d like to smile, even if it feels forced or inappropriate (especially if alone). By the way, this isn’t me telling you to go LOL at a funeral or in the ICU. It is me suggesting that a life in which amusement and enjoyment are possible despite the inevitable sadness and crappiness is a very nice thing indeed.

There’s more, but this is long. So…I love you and see you on the flip side in 2012!

 

What about YOU…what are YOUR “Everyday Resolutions?”

* * * 

Allison Nazarian

Copywriter | Ghostwriter | Author | Writing Seminars | Teacher | And…MOM

Latest posts by Allison Nazarian (see all)

Comments

comments

  • http://twitter.com/DooneyPug Lori Finnigan

    Love the title…one of my favorite sayings is Blah, blah, blah.

    I tend to not make resolutions on Jan 1…Life has a funny way of interrupting plans so I try to roll with what life hands me, to the best of my ability.  I like this post Allison, and I don’t really have much else to offer.  We have similar beliefs – it’s nice to read them from someone else.

    • http://loveyourmessbook.com Allison Nazarian

      Thank you, Lori!
      I think that rolling with what life hands you is a great one. I struggle with that A LOT. It doesn’t jive well with my control freak nature. Sigh.

  • Anonymous

    Just found your blog through my twitter friend @ErinMargolin:disqus 
    . Oh yeah I’m following you too.

    I have goals and aspirations, finishing my first book is  major one, but I’m not writing them down. It’s like looking at a scale when you’re losing weight or staring at the microwave when you want you cold pizza to hear. It’s pointless.

    My everyday stuff is to keep writing, be a better father to my 3 daughters and a better husband to my wife. If I can accomplish those things, I should stay out of prison and maybe achieve something.

    Happy New Year….you have a great place here….I’m a Jets fan so yeah, I know your Redksins pain. Love the Counting Crows.

    • http://loveyourmessbook.com Allison Nazarian

      Hi! Just followed you too!
      I think staying out of prison is a fantastic everyday resolution. Ha. That would be one of my “goes without saying” ones.
      What is your book about?

      • Anonymous

        Six babies born stillborn in a NYC hospital over  a2 week period in 1970 have robotic hearts implanted. Their bodies break down at the age of 40 and they have to find the doctors who “made” them so they can be turned into robot-human hybrids.

        you can find about 30K words of it on my blog under the heading “Crazy Robot Stories”. That’s a working title, I swear.

        • http://loveyourmessbook.com Allison Nazarian

          WOW!

  • http://twitter.com/vic39first Victoria KP

    Oh I could really stand to practice letting go! I’m really bad about that.

    • http://loveyourmessbook.com Allison Nazarian

      I can be, too. That’ s why I used the word “practice” — I figure the more I remember to practice, the more automatically it may come.

  • http://www.flirtygrrl.com Lori Paquette

    Oh, how I love you, Allison!

    Forgiving and letting go … and staying in the present. those are my everyday resolutions that I make an effort to practice. Not easy but the more I trust and relinquish control of that which I have none over, the more magic happens. 

    2012 marks my 50th year. It will be epic … as long as I step back and let it be so. Oh, road trip to Florida. Yes? I think a birthday tour is in order ;)

    • http://loveyourmessbook.com Allison Nazarian

      That birthday tour sounds AMAZING! You are welcome here any time.
      And I hear you about control, I work on that daily. It is nice to look back over the year and see how far I have come in that dept.
      I love you and your everyday resolutions!

  • http://amyoscar.com/ Amy Oscar

    Allison, I love the way you truth-tell; the way you honor yourself and your process – and share all of that with us. Blessings and gratitude. My all year resolution is this: Choose toward love.

    • http://loveyourmessbook.com Allison Nazarian

      Thank you, Amy!
      In honor of you, I just put on my black T-shirt with “LOVE” in small pink rhinestones. That’s me choosing toward love :)
      xoxo

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jeanne-Demers/1430319688 Jeanne Demers

    Printing this out and putting it up on a wall of my studio.  My eyes landing on any one of these and reflecting will help ME “to live my life as if every day were January 1″.  Very rich stuff, Allison.  Resonates like crazy, all of it. 

    Thank you!!

    And happy new year!

    :)
    Jeanne

    • http://loveyourmessbook.com Allison Nazarian

      What an honor to make it to your studio! I hope it inspires you in some small way to do something super-cool and wonderful.
      Happy New Year to you, too!
      xx Alli

  • Pingback: For 2012: Apologizing No More. | Erin Margolin()

  • http://www.chibijeebs.com Chibi Jeebs

    “Apologizing for being me is a crime.” I need to tattoo this to my forehead. Thank you.

    • http://loveyourmessbook.com Allison Nazarian

      Maybe we both should!
      Thank you for reading and commenting!

  • http://loveyourmessbook.com Allison Nazarian

    Joan, Thank you for reading and for your comments. Means SO much to me!
    Happy New Year, to you too!
    xx

Copyright © 2001–Present, Get It In Writing, Inc. dba Allison Media Group

All Rights Reserved. No reproduction of any content on this site without express permission of its copyright owner.