So I don’t need to tell you yet again about the wild ride I have had this year. It’s been all kinds of new and different and scary and magical.
I don’t know about you, but when I am in times of deep fear or uncertainty, I tend to try to find and/or grab on to something that seems real and stable and safe. Maybe it’s a thing we bring from childhood — relying on our parents or a safe adult so we can have that delicious “it’s a cold world but I’m safe here” kind of feeling.
I admit to doing that hanging-on thing a bunch of times this year and even before. Who hasn’t?! I’ve done it even when I knew that the person or thing I was hanging on to wasn’t in all reality safe or good for me.
There were times that I put my faith, or misplaced it I should say, into people and things that didn’t always deserve it.
And that’s OK. I’m human. And I bet you have done it too because — guess what?! –you, too are human.
As many of you know, I was in Vegas this past weekend. I spent some time with some of the most amazing people I have ever known. These people allow me to be me. They are cool with the fact that I am flawed and imperfect. And because of that, I am perfect to them — and they to me.
It is those kinds of relationships and people that help me see what I need and what I want and what I deserve. And they also show me, oh-so-clearly, the error of my hero-worshipping ways.
I see it all the time on the Internet and “IRL” (in real life) too: Getting caught up in personas, in people who are just as flawed as the rest of us who do a bang-up job of promising us that they have all the answers we need. And sometimes, in the right (wrong) mood and the right (wrong) time, we are ripe for the picking.
We’re vulnerable and scared and searching because, yea you got it — we are human. And we grab onto it. We want that answer. We want what they got. They have it — why shouldn’t we?!
And we buy the program. Or purchase the ticket. Or attend the event. Listen to the audio. View the video. Complete the workbook. Or pick the wrong friend. Or the wrong Significant Other or even Spouse. And we trust — oh how we trust!
Whatever it is — we buy into it (financially, emotionally, ideologically) and we wait….like my dog when she knows food is coming. We’re panting and ready with tongues out.
And something does come. It may even be useful. There’s often substance there. We learn something new and may even come back for more. We practice, we do, we learn, we’re better than we were before. Cool!
But the questions, and the concerns, and the seeking and the wanting — still all there, huh? Maybe there are some new ones. Maybe nothing has changed.
And these people with all the answers….They didn’t actually have them, did they?
Just that one person had them. And that same person still has them.
You know who that person is?
I don’t need to tell you. YOU already know. As do I.
We just need reminders — constant for me, maybe you too? — of what we already have and know and are. I needed the kind, true, very real and freakin hilarious hearts of my dear friends to remind me in, of all places, Vegas of what a gem I am.
So who and what are your reminders? What’s your Vegas? Who are your very real and wonderful heroes?
I didn’t come back with more answers than questions (that’ll be the day!) but I was reminded of where to look.
And as far as I am concerned, that’s all the answer I need right now in this very moment.
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